The TV Moment That Made Me Gay


In the 1960s, I was addicted to watching tall, lithe Ron Ely as Tarzan, wearing a pulse-quickening loincloith as he swung around the place on various vines.

The line of hair under Ron’s navel was possibly the most important stretch of geography of my entire pubescence.

In fact, as I’ve written, I remember thinking, “You Tarzan. Me gay.”

My other pop cultural obsession at the time was the glittery girl group the Supremes, whose costumed and choreographed bouts of bouncy musical heartbreak sang to my very soul, especially since they were so fabulous!

Well, in 1968, a very special episode of Tarzan featured three very special guest stars–the Supremes!

The shimmery trio that I worshiped for their sparkly outfits and swinging sounds.

On Tarzan, they happened to play some button-down nuns (singing a distinctly non-Motown-sounding ditty called “The Lord Helps Those Who Help Themselves”), but it was still the Supremes! With my loinclothed he-man!

At that moment, I became the gayest person on the entire planet.

Thank you, Ron, Diana, Mary, and Cindy. My world is empty without you, babes….