Hanson Brew a Beer Called MmmHops


This month, lovers of beer and irony everywhere have been thoroughly enjoying the fact that everyone’s weirdest kid band, Hanson, have not only grown up, come of age and started playing music again, but they’ve also launched their own beer–and it’s called Mmmhops (see what they did there?). In light of that, as well as the trio’s return to Irving Plaza on yesterday and today–and the release of new album Anthem this week–we’re pretty sure Hanson feel like celebrating. Here are some other lines of musician-related booze the band could raise a glass with.

See also: The A$AP Rocky Drinking Game

Absinthe Mansinthe, by Marilyn Manson
Truly, a dark lord is not a dark lord without having around-the-clock access to forbidden and intoxicating elixirs. Manson must’ve been thrilled to launch his own legit line after absinthe was legalized in the U.S. in 2007, and Mansinthe has been well received for the most part. The Absinthe Review Network describes Manson’s concoction thusly: “It has a spicy nose of coriander and hyssop with a fair smidgen of heat… man heat.” Who doesn’t love man heat? Form an orderly line, ladies…

901 Tequila by Justin Timberlake
Not content with trying to re-launch the Internet equivalent of Miss Havisham’s dining room (that’d be MySpace), J.T. also has his own line of triple-distilled, 100% agave tequila, 901. The website for this thing says things like: “When Justin Timberlake, who has a passion for tequila, was looking for something truly special, he simply couldn’t find it,” and “901 is when the evening ends and the night begins.” We haven’t wanted to vomit this hard since Timberpants showed up to the 2001 American Music Awards in triple-denim. Still, the tequila is probably delicious…

Old Whiskey River Bourbon by Willie Nelson
Willie Nelson is about 300-years-old, so he’s wise and talks funny, like Yoda in a braided wig. Also, when he’s not smoking weed, he likes putting his stamp on the most American drink there is–Kentucky bourbon–and naming it after a song of his from 1978. The Old Whiskey River website assures us Willie tested the small batch bourbon at every stage of development. It’s “aged six years in new charred American oak barrels”–which, frankly, sounds like the greatest thing on earth. Let’s get drunk!

Qream Cream Liqueur by Pharrell Williams
If you’re incredibly successful and dashingly handsome like Pharrell Williams, you learn pretty quickly what it is that women want out of life. Babies? Marriage? Money? Not really. Apparently, ladies will just settle for any and all alcohol that doesn’t make them too fat — which is where Qream comes in. This vodka-based liqueur is less calorific than wine, but has the same amount of alcohol in it. Take that, Weight Watchers points!

Drops of Jupiter Red Wine by Train
Our entirely made-up theory about this is that, perhaps after the 1000th listen of “Hey Soul Sister,” Train realized the music they make is, for most sane people, about as pleasant to listen to as nails on a chalk board. Drowning in guilt, they teamed up with San Francisco Wine Co. and released a line of Petite Sirah, called Drops of Jupiter (gag).

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