Living Metta World Peace, Published Author and New York Knick, Tweets New Original Work
by Tessa Stuart
Last night published author and newly-minted New York Knick Metta World Peace treated Twitter followers to a new original story.
The as-yet-untitled work is a vaguely threatening, sometimes funny, utterly confounding work of magical realism. It’s like an onion: with each tweet, the reader pulls back another layer.
We’re still parsing its meaning. Was it a reaction to head coach Mike Woodson’s statement yesterday that he has “no idea” who will be part of the Knicks starting lineup? Probably not, but maybe! It could mean anything.
Share your interpretations and reviews in the comments section.
I was following one person down the street. They got mad. I said “I was going to ask ur twitter so I can follow you”
— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 16, 2013
The girl I was following hit me with her purse. I said” I only want your twitter”
— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 16, 2013
She gave me her vine. I told her” why would I need your vein”
— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 16, 2013
All her stuff fell out of her purse when she hit me. She asked for my help. I said” only if you give me your home address and your twitter”
— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 16, 2013
She had Nemo in her purse. I reported her to the police for stealing fish and not letting the fish live in water. It was n her make up kit.
— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 16, 2013
Her make up kit had fish food in it
— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 16, 2013
I was like “chic .really ? Fish food? “
— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 16, 2013
Chic had on high heeled Dada’s.
— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 16, 2013
That was a real story. Not funny. I was not laughing. I was shocked
— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 16, 2013
She was taller than me without the heely Dada’s. she took them off when I said “really? High heeled Dada’s?”
— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 16, 2013
I was laughing so hard until she punched me. Then my secret weapon put her ;; I mean him in his place. She was a he. But anyway.
— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 16, 2013
Yal know what my secret weapon was?
— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 16, 2013
Oh yeah. I forgot to tell yal. His make up kit was a taco
— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 16, 2013
Basically , I thought this person would be interesting to follow on twitter. But at the end , he didnt even have twitterer.. He had MySpace
— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 16, 2013
This is a real story. I will never share another story if yal think I made this up.
— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 16, 2013
I should have known it was a guy. She had a six pack on her back. I call it a back pack.
— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 16, 2013
I’m like “really? A back pack? What excercise does that?”
— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 16, 2013
Her rimz on her Dada’s were 20 inches.
I was like” really? 20’s? ” she was off balance the entire time we were arguing.— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 16, 2013
Her rimz on her Dada’s were 20 inches.
I was like” really? 20’s? ” she was off balance the entire time we were arguing.— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 16, 2013
This story gets weirderer but I have to go now. I’m not tweeting for 2months.
— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 16, 2013
Oh yes. My secret weapon.
In my Rick James and Dave Chappelle voice.
“It’s an elbow b…h”— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 16, 2013
The reason I can’t finish the story is because when I left this dude threw a beer at me. After I helped fix his dada with the spare he had
— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 16, 2013
When he threw the beer I went ron Artest , but verbally with no curses or physical contact. I did it in form of a Kendrick Lamar verse.
— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 16, 2013
This is a real story. Ask jimmy Kimmel. He was there. He filmed the entire thing.
— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 16, 2013
Yal ask jimmy yet? This is a true story
— Metta World Peace (@MettaWorldPeace) August 16, 2013