The primary season’s umpteenth mayoral debate will be broadcast live on NY1 and streaming on its website at 7 p.m. tonight. We here at Runnin’ Scared thought, hey, what better way to endure the sloganeering and the personal barbs then to get really, really drunk while it’s happening.
(hat tip to redditor u/brooklynbitch for giving us the idea.)
So grab some stiff drinks, set out two Advil capsules on your bed stand for the morning, sit down, relax, and enjoy:
A sip if Christine Quinn attacks de Blasio’s wife over her claim that Quinn can’t relate to women with children.
A sip if Anthony Weiner demurs about sexting.
Two sips if another candidate brings it up.
Finish your drink if the audience boos at any time.
A sip anytime Bill de Blasio says “We live in A Tale of Two Cities.”
Chug a beer anytime Quinn defends giving Bloomberg a third term.
Two big gulps each time a candidate lies about being consistently skeptical of stop-and-frisk (that would be everybody except John Liu and Bill de Blasio)
A sip each time a candidate criticizes the Bloomberg administration.
Two sips each time a candidate applauds it.
Three sips anytime a candidate affirms their support for Wall Street.
When the moderator tells someone their time is up, start drinking and continue until they give up the floor.
Got any additions? Leave them in the comments section for readers to try them out!
Send your story tips to the author, Raillan Brooks.