It’s out! Earlier this month, when the tracklist for Gaga’s new album ARTPOP dropped, the big news was that she had collaborated with R. Kelly on a song, “Do What U Want.” A few days ago a partial leak and some, ahem, cheeky artwork (above) were released, stirring the pot of hype even more vigorously. Late last night the world was given the gift of “Do What U Want” in full (embedded below), and it is, quite naturally, insane.
See also: What to Expect From Lady Gaga’s ARTPOP
It’s a song about tabloid culture, and Gaga’s struggles with a media eager to “print some shit that makes [her] want to scream.” We think. Maybe. It’s also about sex? Or an apology to her fans for not being perfect? “Write what you want/ Say what you want about me/ If you’re wonderin’/ Know that I’m not sorry” she goes on to sing in the pre-chorus, sounding very much like Xtina over percolating, Chromatics-like synth. You can’t have her heart, her mind or her voice, but you can “do what you want to my body.” Enter R. Kelly.
He’s here to rescue Gaga, wants to be the drink in her cup, the “green in [her] blunt.” He takes her on a private flight. He wants to role play. Ever the gentleman, he will take her up on her offer, and do what he wants with her body. Tom Ford is there.
Of course, this is R. Kelly, a man with a notorious past whose penchant for doing what he wants to bodies very nearly saw him do time in jail. If you’re wondering why, because of that past, he’d agree to appear on a song that opened him up to some pretty obvious jokes/criticism, don’t. The man is a next-level troll when it comes to boldly flaunting this kind of thing. Shortly after the infamous tape of him allegedly sleeping with (and, yes, peeing on) an underage girl was released he started calling himself “The Pied Piper of R&B.” His album at the height of all the controversy was called Chocolate Factory. (You know who loves chocolate? CHILDREN.) After he was found not guilty, he sang a verse on the remix of Raheem DeVaughn’s “Customer” that features a line that goes “And shorty, if you’re thirsty, I’ve got some good good lemonade.” This is what he does.
The real question is why Gaga would choose him for the task. Was Miguel not available? Is Usher too safe? Is Robin Thicke too passe/goofy? Does Al B Sure not have a phone? Surely all of them could and would do what they want to Gaga’s body without drumming up any controversy. Oh, wait. Yes. Yes. Never mind. The choice makes complete sense now. Kudos, Gaga.
Now, take it away with the predictably hacky piss jokes, Twitter…
Lady Gaga…do you REALLY want to do a song with R Kelly saying “do what you want with my body”??? He WILL pee on you!
— Matthew Sheppard (@kak2sjak) October 19, 2013
— Nuvo (@NuvoSynd) October 21, 2013
@ladygaga did you let r kelly pee on your body?
— B (@bambiguts) October 21, 2013
R.Kelly got a song with Lady Gaga!?….Well he finally met his match to piss on somebody as reckless as him.
— ♎Ｊ#♎ (@JNumba910) October 20, 2013
@ladygaga love the new song just hope R Kelly didn’t take the title seriously and try to pee on you.
— Carrie Jeffery (@glitterhooker36) October 21, 2013
— goyyboy // ARTPOP (@goyyboy) October 20, 2013
RT @ladygaga MY NEW SINGLE IS CALLED “PISS ON ME” FT. R KELLY!!
— Billy H (@wchardin) October 15, 2013
@ladygaga did r kelly piss on you
— ☯ queen ☯ (@KatySlaysUrFav) October 15, 2013
Lady Gaga song “Do what you want” featuring R. Kelly.
/resists making pee joke
— Fairy Lord Zeki (@ZekiKadmon) October 20, 2013
At least this one is original:
— J. R. Moore (@ICanBMoore) October 21, 2013