16 Signs You’re Addicted to Pure Heroine


It probably started off simple. You sang along to “Royals” on the radio one day and knew a few more lyrics than you thought you did. You bought the album and listened to it on repeat once or twice. THEN YOU WERE ADDICTED. But just to make sure, check yourself against these 16 signs you’re addicted to the 16-year-old New Zealander’s incredible debut album Pure Heroine.

See also: The Welcome Contradiction of Lorde

1. You’ve told everyone you know about how great it is, without specifying that it is an album–not actual heroin.

2. While hanging out in small or large groups of friends you’ve said, t”Royals isn’t even the best song on the album!” You have probably said it multiple times.

3. You haven’t physically removed the car radio from the inside of your car in a fit of repetitive-radio-rush-hour rage in awhile.

4. You know way more random facts about New Zealand than the rest of your peer group.

5. You’re noticing tennis courts everywhere you go.

6. You still haven’t taken a temporary break from all of the “different” music, gossip, and pop-culture blogs you follow.

7. You’ve begun saying things like “Don’t ever take the Lorde’s name in vain!” and “Oh, Lorde!”

8. You have fewer friends and Twitter followers than you used to.

See also: Lorde on Lorde

9. You have finally decided that you don’t like Lana Del Rey after all.

10. You pout more, trim your hair less, and have tossed your tweezers out altogether.

11. Your karaoke abilities have improved significantly over the past month.

12. You’ve been inserting lyrics from Pure Heroine into casual conversations, like…

Person: “I want to break up with you.”

You: “Let me be your ruler. You can call me Queen B!”

Person: “What the fuck are you even doing with your life?”

You: “I’m little but I’m going for the crown!”

Person: “Where did all of the Crest White-Strips go?”

You: “I’ll let you in on something big–I am not a white teeth teen.”

13. You do low-key Hot Topic walk-by’s whenever you’re at the mall (which has been quite often, lately…) to see if their Lorde-inspired collection that you’re assuming exists has arrived yet.

14. You take between three to 10 years off of your official age now when introducing yourself to others to feel better about your accomplishments.

15. You clicked on this article because of how cute it is that there are “16 signs” and Lorde is also 16! You also clicked on this article because you weren’t completely positive that you’d read this one already. You hadn’t, but now you have.

16. Oh, and the track marks up and down both of your arms are still visible.

The 10 Worst Metal Bands of the ’80’s
What Charles Manson and Bon Iver Have In Common
Who Do I Still Go To Pearl Jam Concerts?


This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on October 22, 2013


Archive Highlights