For Thanksgiving one year, I made my grandma follow the peach cobbler recipe from an article in some teen magazine that was said to be the same one Justin Timberlake’s grandma used. I love, love, loved *NSYNC, and was not afraid to show it. I had *NSYNC lip balm, *NSYNC hoop earrings, and countless *NSYNC books. There may have been an *NSYNC notebook I kept with a photoshopped wedding picture of me and Justin Timberlake. What follows is an incomplete document of all-consuming madness.
Unopened Choking Hazard
This Justin Timberlake marionette doll has been my unopened pride and joy. It was not-so-neatly packed away with my Dennis Rodman, Donald Trump, and Kurt Cobain action figures because at some point my family decided that I was going to be a person who collects dolls and that we were going to keep it weird. Because it’s 2013, you can find these online still for what I can guarantee is a fraction of the cost I made my family shell out for this when it first debuted. Literally all I’ve done with it since receiving it is stare at it for the first hour then let it collect dust on top of my computer desk for around 10 years. Today, my ownership of one is a nice personal factoid for parties.
*NSYNC Concert Program
Honestly, who DOESN’T need a program for a concert filled with people you already know TOO MUCH about that probably cost twice as much as parking for the venue? But price was not a thing I, as a then 8-year-old, was at all concerned about. This was my second *NSYNC concert experience where I saw them perform at Soldier Field on Father’s Day. It would be my last concert until Ozzfest in high school, but that’s a much different musical journey to explain.
A Cry For Help
Thankfully my love for *NSYNC outweighed my artistic skills because damn. Sidenote: Mandy Moore was a G.
Red Teddy Bear in Justin Timberlake Shirt aka What Won’t They Do To Bilk Kids Out of Money?
Yet another unopened collectible item because the point of having a teddy bear is to keep it stored away in a box. I was the worst at being a kid.
Justin Timberlake Bobble Head
This would later be replaced by a Dwight Schrute bobblehead when I entered a phase of being ridiculously obsessed with The Office. But before that show debuted, I was too busy requesting then never touching a bunch of Justin Timberlake themed stuff.
NOT PICTURED: My Justin fact book, the “Pin the Kiss on the Justin” game my mom made for one of my birthday parties, a vanilla-flavored lip balm with Justin’s face on the side, gigantic hoop earrings that said “*NSYNC” in the middle, the hours I spent watching Total Request Live and Model Behavior, and my shame.
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on October 25, 2013