Top 5 Presidential Looks for Chris Christie


For the current news cycle, at least, it appears that America’s got us a 2016 Republican presidential nominee, and his name rhymes with Tris Fristie.

Just ask New York Times scribes Kate Zernike and Jonathan Martin, who shaped “Chris Christie Coasts to 2nd Term as Governor of New Jersey” around the theme of the Big Man’s potential presidentialness, beginning with the opening paragraph:

Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey won re-election by a crushing margin on Tuesday, a victory that vaulted him to the front ranks of Republican presidential contenders and made him his party’s foremost proponent of pragmatism over ideology.

A lead that looked strikingly similar to the one that topped USA Today‘s story “Christie wins re-election; seen as prelude to 2016“:

New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie easily won re-election Tuesday in a race seen mainly as the kickoff for the next contest: The popular Republican is considered a good bet to run for president in 2016.

Of course, Christie didn’t shy away from sounding like a guy who wants to be POTUS, declaring, among other things, “I know that if we can do this in Trenton, N.J., then maybe the folks in Washington, D.C., should tune in their TVs right now and see how it’s done.”

As loath as we are to jump on these media-hype trains, which run more frequently than the No. 3 at rush hour, perhaps it’s not too soon to imagine what a Christie campaign — and maybe a Christie presidency — would look like …

5. Because, you know, “HOPE” sounds too much like “DOPE”

4. Honest Chris

3. A little strategem I like to call, “Winner, winner, doughnut dinner.”

2. Despite the presence of Nixon on the ticket, “I Like Ike” worked pretty dang well, did it not?

1. I cannot tell a f***in’ lie — I look awesome in a wig.