The 10 Most Ridiculous Metal Album Covers of 2013


Do the people who conceived and designed these metal album covers not care, or do they care too much? It’s not entirely clear, but that’s what makes them so awesome. Behold, the 10 most ridiculous metal album covers of the year.

See also: The 10 Best Metal Albums of 2013

10. Zodiac
A Hiding Place

The next time you feel like doing the ‘siren surrounded by dogs’ gimmick, try to find dogs that actually look threatening. Rather than cuddly.

9. Blackout
We Are Here

The use of Satanic imagery and the middle-finger to represent anything remotely cool or threatening is dead and buried, the bloated corpses of each represented by whatever the hell this is.

8. Profanatica
Thy Kingdom Cum

This attempt to be shocking is somehow just totally whatevs.

7. Rawhide
Murder One

These guys wonder why they can’t get a second date.

6. Cleric
Vatum Inferno

Most people who try acid for the first time end up scribbling something like this, but the key is not to publish it.

5. Persekutor
Power Frost

Cool vacation photo.

4. Thunder Tribe
War Chant

Not the optimal way to have your spirit forever immortalized.

3. Vastum
Patricidal Lust

This could have been cool: A warrior standing proud and naked, beholding the giant he just disemboweled. But that bat creature at the top sends it all to shit.

2. Iron Mask
Fifth Son of Winterdoom

This knight-looking thing and his doggies are charged with protecting the Fifth Son of Winterdoom. But what happened to the first four Sons of Winterdoom?

1. Stratovarius

Available on PlayStation 4 and Xbox One.

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