At the beginning of each year, many publications and music sites cobble together lists of the upcoming albums they’re most looking forward to and excited about. Most of these lists are mostly the same. Mostly. Take a look at the completely real, totally not fake list of albums we’re INCREDIBLY HYPED about!
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Chickenfoot – Chickenfoot IV
If you’re like me, you’ve been really missing some real fuckin’ ROCK’N’ROLL. None of that polo-shirt Vampire Weekend horseshit. I’m talking about bands that ROCK. You know what’s cooler than “Ya Hey?” Joe Satriani’s sunglasses. It’s about time Chickenfoot got back to what they do best, saving rock’n’roll. Rumor has it they’re recording with Dave Navarro, Jason Mraz, Five For Fighting, Tim Commerfold, and you guessed it, Nelly.
Girl Talk – Missy Misery
That’s right college, your favorite not-a-DJ is back with a brand new project, but this time instead of crafting our national date-rape music, he’s opted to go with a slightly more solemn sound. Girl Talk’s new album was created entirely through mashups of Missy Elliott and Elliott Smith. Have you ever heard frenetic, mid-2000s pop rap blasted over a “Needle In The Hay” edit? Well you don’t have to wait much longer!
Coldplay – X&Y
Coldplay’s long-awaited follow-up to 2002’s smash hit A Rush of Blood to the Head is said to mix in more electronic elements to their previously unadorned brand of piano rock. Don’t worry though, new single “Fix You” proves that our boys haven’t forgotten how to write an anthem!
Lou Reed/Eifel 65 – Blue
Hailed as a spiritual successor to Metal Machine Music, and perhaps the last composition Lou Reed made before his death, the restless art-rock pioneer surprisingly collaborated with Eurodance lifers Eifel 65 to create a swirling, sobering masterpiece. Obvious themes include 9/11, the immortality of love, and a Diet Coke Lou once drank on a subway in 1995.
Modest Mouse – We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank: 7th Anniversary Deluxe Edition
After collectively deciding they were utterly tired of being a band anymore, Modest Mouse are releasing an expanded and remastered version of 2007’s We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank. Why a 7th anniversary edition? Because We Were Dead is just about the 7th best Modest Mouse album. Bonus tracks include 45 minutes of Isaac Brock sighing into a microphone.
Roomba Gooding Jr. – The Big Czechowski
This is shaping up to be the most ironic album ever recorded. I am told that their lead singer has a moustache.
Taylor Swift – Reign in Blood
The second part of her Red trilogy, Reign in Blood is said to deal with some of the darkest issues Taylor has ever addressed. The new songs are rumored to be about love, loneliness, the ritualistic self-flagellation after burning and eating the corpses of your enemies suspended in reverse crucifixes, and pets.
Sufjan Stevens – Another Goddamn Fucking Christmas Album
Another goddamn fucking Christmas album from artist-we-used-to-be-excited-about Sufjan Stevens.