Hey Girl, Your Train Is Probably Running Really Late Right Now [Updated]


Hey, girl. It’s really early, the snow has turned into muddy, slippery crunch-ice, and the Metropolitan Transit Authority is reporting delays on the 2, 4, 5, 6, D, Q, J, Z, and N, which is a lot of train lines. It’s only Tuesday and this week already feels like a long and hopeless tunnel stretching into oblivion, like a deserted subway of the soul. So, what are we going to do? We’re going to explain what’s going on here, and then we’re going to console ourselves with a two-year-old Ryan Gosling meme. Oh yes we are.

According to the latest from the MTA, there are three separate issues contributing to the morning’s delays. The northbound 2, 5, and D are delayed because of “signal problems.” So are the southbound N and Q. So is the 6, in both directions for the same reason. One of those mysterious “earlier incidents” at Cypress Avenue is also contributing to the 6’s sluggishness. A train with mechanical problems at Broad Street means that the southbound J and Z are terminating at Chambers. That’s a lot of problems, girl.

According to MTA spokesperson Kevin Ortiz, “Signal problems on the various lines are all weather related on outdoor portions of our system.” In other words, cold weather ruins everything. It’s also worth remembering that the train is often on time, and that we live in a city with excellent and far-reaching public transit. Also, that this photo exists:

I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling better. Also, at least you’re not on New Jersey Transit trying to get back from the Super Bowl, right?

We’ll give you this one, too, but only in case you get to work and still feel like strangling a subway train. Use it wisely.

Update, 9:30 a.m.:

And now the Eighth Avenue-bound L is also delayed, due to a sick customer at Bedford Avenue. You have our permission to weep.