If you face certain, say, challenges when it comes to productivity (re: everything under the Quirky TV Shows Featuring a Strong Female Lead genre on Netflix), then we aim to inspire. This week is all about buckling down and making things: art, magazines, home-brewed beer, dinosaurs, drunken art, jokes. Consider these recommendations a loving, nurturing fire under a place that you definitely don’t want aflame. Now go, create!
Tuesday, May 13
[Science] At some point, usually in the second grade during that one intensive dinosaur unit, every kid decides they want to be a paleontologist. Very few actually carry that dream into adulthood, but we can agree that those who do are universally badass individuals. Tonight, Morbid Anatomy and Caitlin Wylie of the New Jersey Institute of Technology present Making Dinosaurs: The Art and Science of Fossil Preparation. In this illustrated lecture, Wylie reveals the little-known process by which fossils go from stumbled-upon rock formations to mammoth museum exhibits (this isn’t an IKEA bed, there’s no four-step assembly manual). Take a look at 19th-century procedural photos to see some of the elegant and endearingly misaligned skeletons that the Victorian era produced. At 8, Observatory, Brooklyn, $8.
[Booze] Make no mistake, we’re annoyed with microbrews, too (or maybe just peope who talk about microbrews on OKCupid dates), but you’ve got to admit that some of them are damn tasty (oatmeal raisin cookie stout, anyone?). Brooklyn Brew Shop founders Erica Shea and Stephen Valand are responsible for some the craftiest craft beers we’ve ever chugged, and tonight they’ll reveal some of their secret recipes at the book launch for Make Some Beer: Small-Batch Recipes from Brooklyn to Bamberg. Hear them share advice for young brewers and favorite food pairings over a glass of their signature Dandelion Gruit. At 7, PowerHouse Arena, Brooklyn, free.
[Storytime] If you can find someone who doesn’t like Mad Libs, balloon animals, or ice cream cake … don’t bring them to this event tonight. At Yum’s the Word, comedian Robin Gelfenbien reimagines the classic kids’ birthday party for adults, with stories and treats to entertain even the fussiest of manchildren. In this edition, Craig Baldo, Michele Carlo, and Aaron Wolfe join her as special guests. They’ll be less scary than clowns and twice as funny. At 7:30, (Le) Poisson Rouge, $10-$15.
Wednesday, May 14
[Art] Although the artwork in “Femme Fatale” features five distinctively different young female artists, they all share one commonality: They’ve beautifully created a heavenly, ethereal dreamscape in various mediums that you desperately want to enter. Con Artist Collective has put together a show to celebrate “feminine power and the rise of the independent, go-getter woman in the new millennium” that features work by painter and fashion designer Polet Guzman, filmmaker Azure McBride, abstract painter Sofia Reeser del Rio, and mixed-media artist Angela Viens. Let’s toast them tonight. –Araceli Cruz. At 6, continues through May 28, Con Artist Gallery, free.
[Lit] WORN, Canada’s self-professed anti-fashion fashion magazine, has made waves with its platform on decomodifying style, encouraging readers to make and mend clothing rather than buy new. Celebrate the release of The WORN Archive with editor Serah-Marie McMahon at this all-female panel on publishing hosted by Bullett’s Fiona Duncan. Marjon Carlos (Ladypants), Laurie Henzel (Bust), and Ayesha Siddiqi (Buzzfeed) join them. At 7, Housing Works Bookstore Café, free.
[More Booze] Remember 3rd Ward (RIP)? Remember 3rd Ward’s excellent Drink N’ Draw nights? Well, they’re back with the same hosts in a new home. Bushwick’s Bat Haus relaunches the weekly series that promises a live nude, good company, and all-you-can-drink beer for two and a half hours of tipsy sketching. Artist or amateur, at this measly nominal fee, it’s the best bar deal in town. At 8, every Wednesday, Bat Haus, Brooklyn, $10.
[Art] The fifth annual Art for Tibet charity auction and exhibit once again raises money to help fight oppression in Tibet. This year, Moby joins Richard Gere and others on the auction committee to offer the work of more than 75 acclaimed artists, including the politically sentient Shepard Fairey. Peruse the works tonight before they are doled out to the highest bidders. At 6, Tibet House, free.
[Theater] Tonight, Shakespeare in the Parking Lot, the Drilling Company’s impromptu urban sub-troupe, presents its first-ever performance in an actual park. Alessandro Colla stars as the prince of Denmark in Hamlet, with Karla Hendrick and David Stiler backing him up as an alcoholic Gertrude and an overworked, power-hungry Claudius. Don’t miss this refreshingly informal, interactive tribute to the bard. At 7, Thursdays through Saturdays until May 31, Bryant Park, free.
[Film] In 1998, science teacher Chad Matheny became Emporer X, and nothing was ever the same. The Florida native is known for his creative choice of concert venues — a nursing home, laser tag arena, post office, and hot air balloon are among them — so it’s fitting that his next performance happens in a Williamsburg indie theater affectionately referred to as the “goth bodega.” For one night only, the folky noise-pop artist live-scores a selection of vintage Soviet sci-fi films, for your occular pleasure. At 8 and 10, Spectacle Theater, Brooklyn, $5.
[Comedy] You may know Ophira Eisenberg as the host of NPR’s Ask Me Another, but she’s been around. In fact, her memoir, Screw Everyone: Sleeping My Way to Monogamy, just got put up for a movie deal, so we’ll be seeing, as well as hearing, even more of her. Tonight, she performs Bangs! A Comedy Double-Cassette Taping. Laugh extra hard to hear yourself on the track. At 9pm, Union Hall, Brooklyn, $8-$10.