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The 23 Most Fantastically Quotable Lines From Riff Raff’s New Album Neon Icon

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Enter this one in the annals of rap — today Riff Raff released his long-mooted and often-delayed studio debut album, Neon Icon. Dropping via Diplo’s Mad Decent stable, the 15-track project brims with Jody Highroller‘s now trademark bedazzled brags. Here’s your handy run-through of Neon Icon‘s most quintessentially Riff Raffian boasts, capped at 23 in honor of his jones for Jordans. (Spoiler: Allusions to bi-curious mermaids, $1,000 ham steaks, and David Hasselhoff’s hair ensue.)

See also: Riff Raff: “We Are Getting Special Cases That Glow in the Dark”

23. “Now I write Clark Gable on my cable bill/ Bill Cosby on my couch out in Nashville.” (“Introducing The Icon”)

22. “Yeah, we can talk, don’t be a stranger/ Step inside the club and I smell like Power Ranger.” (“Wetter Than Tsunami”)

21. “Then done spent a grand on a ham steak/ I should charge you 10 grand for a handshake.” (“Kokayne”)

20. The mansion three story, living room with trampoline/ Mi casa so big it took the maids the whole week to clean.” (“Aquaberry Dolphin”)

19. “My mermaids are bi-curious/ She even got intoxicated, [her] girlfriend is furious.” (“Lava Glaciers”)

18. “Colder than a polar/ Jody Husky sandals.” (“How To Be The Man (Houston Remix)”)

17. “Step inside the club and I’m smelling like Miami/ In the kitchen cooking cookies but I’m not your damn granny.” (“Wetter Than Tsunami”)

16. “Make sure that I gotta custom built house with the water-slide/ From the top floor to the living room jacuzzi.” (“Introducing The Icon”)

15. “Real looking young but I’m looking yonder/ Hot like five saunas, my shoelaces is iguana.” (“Maybe You Love Me”)

14. “The candy-grey Mercedes, I sold it at an auction/ Rap game Sadie Hawkins, got a ticket for jaywalking.” (“How To Be The Man Houston Remix”)

13. “Yo, wanna know something about my right arm?/ I done flex so hard I set off fire alarms.” (“Introducing The Icon”)

12. “Should have been a surfer/ Ah, shit, look who it is — it’s the white Eddie Murphy.” (“How To Be The Man”)

11. “Trunk steady knocking/ Floating through the sky, Mary Poppins.”
(“How To Be The Man”)

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10. “Candle wax melts in my fortress/ I sit alone, my heart stoned/ My thoughts get assorted/ I know you can’t afford it.” (“Versace Python”)

9. “Neon Icon, 57 city touring/ I’m first class, Spain, you still buying Ralph Lauren.” (“Tip Top Wing In My Jawwwdinz”)

8. “Might hit the club and it’s the white Danny Glover/ Rap game Uncle Ben pulling rice out the oven.” (“How To Be The Man”)

7. “I don’t like to drive, Versace jeans in limousine/ I could freestyle to a dolphin and a tambourine.” (“Aquaberry Dolphin”)

6. “White Louis suitcase with the singing hook like Frankie Lymon/ Shout to the Baywatch, David Hasselhoff hair.” (“Lava Glaciers”)

5. “I can buy a Benz even if I ride a Schwinn/ 20-inch rims, man that’s shit’s too small.” (“Wetter Than Tsunami”)

4. “Ah shit, look who it is/ It’s the Gucci Mane with the spray tan/ Wait, let’s go back to the part near the start when you was talkin’ about the cleanliness underneath the fingernails.” (“Introducing The Icon”)

3. “When it’s raining hard and my car breaks down/ I got no one to call on except Triple-A.” (“Time”)

2. “I’m at a slumber party, girls only, got you mad/ But you can sleep outside — here’s my Versace sleeping bag.” (“Tip Toe Wing In My Jawwwdinz”)

1. “Diplo tripping talking ’bout, “You gotta focus on the lyrics in your songs — a lot is riding on this album”/ Man, fuck that!” (“Introducing The Icon”)

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