Last week, we told you that the Westboro Baptist Church, a merry band of noxious trolls with questionable ties to Jesus, is returning to New York to picket the New York Times, Facebook, the Huffington Post, and the 9/11 Memorial Museum. It appears that the WBC has realized that picketing media outlets is a good way to get attention: they’ve added a couple dozen other websites, publishing companies and tech ventures to their picket schedule. This is probably our fault. Sorry, everyone. Sorry.
In addition to their original targets, the WBC now plans to picket Reuters, Viacom, Comedy Central — which they may or may not be aware is a subsidiary of Viacom — the Wall Street Journal, Fox News, HBO, NBC, ABC, CBS, Time Warner, Univision, Buzzfeed (which they refer to as “Buzz Feed”), Gawker, Tumblr, Vine, AOL, Harper’s, Scholastic Publishers, Foursquare, and the New York Daily News . Nearly all of these protests will take place on September 10, planned out in 20-minute increments.
It’s as ambitious as it is hilarious. On their picket schedule website, the WBC’s justifications for their picket targets range from predictable (the Wall Street Journal is in trouble for not opposing “fag marriage”) to the deeply, truly bizarre. Viacom is being singled out not just for MTV’s programming (“the Video Music Awards which has become synonymous with your God hating stars trying to outdo each other with their filth”), but for their children’s programming on Nickelodeon:
The filth isn’t contained to just adults and teenagers. Nickelodeon which has programming for children is just as bad. A preschool show called Bubble Guppies parodied Lady Gaga’s Poker Face. Doesn’t that sound like a good thing for toddlers to be singing? Another show called Victorious has a character talking about spending time with her fag uncles. And don’t forget the star of Fred coming out as a fag.
All of these things, you see, are morally equivalent in the eyes of the Lord: MTV, gay marriage, Lady Gaga, Bubble Guppies. And Harper’s is being singled out not just for their content, but for their very physical location. The church writes, “WBC will picket the fag-enabling, sin-promoting, Christ-rejecting, God-haters at Harper’s Magazine. (NOTE: Their address tells the story – 666 Broadway).”
We’re also overjoyed to report that the Village Voice has been specially singled out to not be picketed. The reason, the WBC explains, is both that we are passé and that, in our last post on this subject, we used a photo of a trio of adorable baby kittens instead of one depicting the WBC and their various shouty signs. The church writes, “Westboro Baptist Church will picket the headquarters of AOL while sharing the love with the rebellious New York Media Outlets. (Except The Village Voice, they are so yesterday… and their little kittens too. JK 🙂 )” [sic]
What a delightful time to be alive and in the media business. The WBC is doubtless aware that most New York media outlets hold weekly pansexual orgies in the place of staff meetings; we hope everyone will move the festivities outdoors so the church is able to participate.