The county fair is one of those mythic heartland institutions that we New Yorkers fetishize and fantasize the ever-living, soil-fertilizing shit out of but ultimately accept as something that doesn’t belong to us. Well, we need not miss out. The Queens County Fair has all the bucolic fun any old-world nostalgist could ask for, with blue-ribbon competitions in produce, livestock, baking, and arts and crafts. Don’t miss highlights like the pig races and pie-eating contest at this weekend-long fest. The Amazing Maize Maze opens this weekend with hayrides and a husking competition as well, but getting lost on the grounds is a good time in itself — the Farm Museum plays host on its 47-acre parcel dating back to 1697: the largest undisturbed tract of farmland in New York City. Stick around for carnival rides, midway games, folk bands, and a requisite corn dog or two.

Sat., Sept. 20, 11 a.m.; Sun., Sept. 21, 11 a.m., 2014