For reasons we won’t rehash here, you might be tired of the NFL and its players already. Not to mention the media. As such, you could be wondering how you’re going to fill all those hours this weekend. Here are a few suggestions.
18. Tweet self-righteously about how you’re not watching the NFL this weekend…
…while secretly monitoring stats for your fantasy team on NFL.com
17. Hop an Amtrak from NYC to NFL (Niagara Falls station).
16. Peruse the selection of bio-fertilizers offered by National Fertilizers Limited.
15. Check out the (speech and debate) coaching resources offered by the National Forensic League.
14. Attend a concert.
13. Listen to the Village Voice film club podcast.
12. Take a moment to remember the XFL.
11. Watch the Giants play.
10. Join the the ranks of the millions of Americans each week who are annoyed that 60 Minutes is delayed again.
9. Watch boxing, where there is transparency about the moral hazards.
8. Angrily shout at TV screen/chest-bump friends while watching House Hunters International.
7. Work out, football-style: Five seconds of intense activity followed by five minutes of milling around, repeated for four hours.
6. Watch the other football. (They’re also only just now paying attention to head injuries, though.)
5. Play fetch with, groom, feed, or generally just be nice to your dogs.
4. Avoid all floating sex parties on a lake somewhere.
3. Calmly and peacefully resolve any disagreements you have with your family.
2. Just eat the nachos and drink the beer while watching something that isn’t fucking boring.