Andrew Cuomo Is a Unicorn-Killing Santa Imprisoner, According to New Astorino Ad


It’s looking like the war between Governor Andrew Cuomo and his Republican challenger, Rob Astorino, is going to be fought, for now at least, on the battleground of profoundly stupid ads. Following a Democratic ad razzing Astorino for being a Dolphins fan, Astorino has fired back with one accusing Cuomo of being a “unicorn killer” and someone who locks up Santa in the chimney.

– See also: Republican Rob Astorino Is Really Mad Democratic Ad Edited His Son Out of Photo

The 30-second ad also notes that Cuomo “shoved Humpty Dumpty off that wall,” and features outraged, adorable children shouting things like, “He’s a monster!”

There’s a point, of course: The ad is a response to the Dolphins ad, and closes with this: “If Andrew Cuomo can make up stories about Rob Astorino, two can play that game. New Yorkers need jobs and tax relief, Governor Cuomo. How about talking about issues for a change?”

The irony of spending 20 seconds of a 30-second ad on unicorns and Humpty Dumpty and closing with a brief exhortation to talk about “real issues” hasn’t been lost on the media. The Wall Street Journal called it proof that the governor’s race “has devolved into the trivial.” (They say that like it’s a bad thing.)

The New York Daily News reports that Cuomo responded to the unicorn-killing accusation yesterday, during a luncheon at the Plaza Hotel to endorse his not-at-all-cynical Women’s Equality Party. The WEP is an effort, basically, to make sure that he and his running mate for lieutenant governor, Kathy Hochul, appear on the ballot with both “Democrat” and “Women’s Equality Party” next to their names, to sucker in persuade undecided female voters. It also theoretically signals that if re-elected, the governor will push hard to pass the 10-point Women’s Equality Act. The state legislature has failed to pass it twice, because the 10th point supports abortion rights, something our state Republican legislators find unpalatable.

“I do not murder unicorns. I’m against it,” Cuomo said, according to the Daily News . He joked that he should make that the 11th point of the Women’s Equality Act, adding, “All women are against the murder of unicorns.”

Two more months of this.