Here are a few street-level signs that summer’s over in New York.
25. You become acutely aware, and envious, of just how many people in the West Village actually have fireplaces.
24. You began to convince yourself that the leaves on your block’s single, sad tree are actually changing color, when really it’s just the light.
23. Like 12 local breweries release their pumpkin-flavored beer, and you become hellbent on trying them all.
21. Beer halls become (even more) packed with college kids Instagramming “Das Boot” group shots during Oktoberfest.
20. People stop being insufferable about their Hamptons getaways. People start being insufferable about their apple-picking adventures.
19. Actors with theater MFAs compete for the role of “Chainsaw Wielder #2” at your local haunted house.
18. Inevitably, an adult will knock on your door and say “trick or treat.” They may or may not be wearing a costume. It may or may not be Halloween.
17. You witness a heartbreaking series of awkward fumbles as people try to get their bodega pumpkins through the subway turnstile.
15. You can take solace in the fact that every insufferable apple-picking friend has a bushel of apples rotting on their counter at home, because they paid upwards of $30 to overzealously pick more than they could eat, and New Yorkers don’t cook.
14. You feel an itchy, constant, non-specific guilt, then realize it’s just Yom Kippur.
13. Farmers-market dads sashay around gourd displays wearing their sexiest fleece pullovers.
12. Your weed delivery guy has cheeks that are rosy when he arrives, as opposed to just his corneas.
11. Thermal-lined fair-trade small-batch artisanal woolen skinny jeans (Williamsburg only.)
10. Spectacular fall foliage! (Haha! Just kidding. Go back to Vermont if you want trees, hippie.)
9. Duane Reade is now filled entirely with Christmas and/or Easter decorations.
8. Cockroaches. Well, more cockroaches. They tend to move inside for the winter.
7. Sheep Meadow in Central Park closes up for another season. (It’s only open through mid-November.)
6. You suddenly realize you left your winter coat at the dry cleaner six months ago.
5. Spying a New York University freshman throwing up on St. Mark’s at 10:30 p.m. on a Thursday.
4. Mrs. Hardy tells you she and her husband are leaving early for Key Biscayne for the winter and asks, “could you feed [her siamese cat] Maury while we’re gone?”
The Yankees start serving their yummy hot chocolate in October.
3. Briefly, you recognize the city as resembling the setting of all those romantic comedies that inspired you to move here.
2. Suddenly your chilly self starts thinking you should take a seat inside the ferry rather than stand outside relishing the views.
1. The sensation of cold wind smacking you in the face when you come out of the train, instead of garbage smell smacking you in the face when you come out of the train.
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on September 22, 2014