Saturday night our favorite Christian hair metal act Stryper play B.B. King’s. Say what you will about the Orange County collective, but you have to admire them for sticking to the script for three decades — or is that scripture? Putting out new music as recently as last year, they show no signs of stopping their glamorous righteousness.
But despite their unique legacy, there aren’t a whole lot of Stryper tribute bands in existence. Which is why, in hopes of rectifying this error of human civilization, we’ve pitched a few ideas for potential Stryper tribute bands.
StrypHER: A Female Tribute to Stryper
In the tradition of Iron Maidens, Guns N Hoses, Girls Girls Girls, Lez Zepplin, and Paradise Titty, it’s high time Stryper had an all-female cover band.
A feminine perspective helps put the original artists’ work in a new context, after all. We also suspect there are female Christians out there. For these reasons, StrypHer might really connect.
Hospitals can be pretty depressing places. What better way to liven things up than with the music of Stryper?
Enter Candy Strypers, a group of hospital volunteers playing Stryper songs under the supervision of a nurse. Expect an up-tick in miraculous recoveries.
Ever wanted to see your favorite Sunday funnies come to life? Ever wanted to see them crank out the music of Stryper?
Comic Stryps would ideally be outfitted like Charlie Brown, Blondie, Garfield, and Calvin and/or Hobbes. It’s church-meets-the-comics, giving you the best of Sunday morning any time!
Stars and Stryper Forever
One of the great things about our country is that we can listen to Stryper whenever we want.
Ideally, a group like Stars and Stryper Forever would feature a 40-piece full band ensemble, playing the music of Stryper in the most patriotic way possible.
Ztryper: A Japanese Stryper Tribute Band
Oh wait, this one already exists. Check ’em out!
Rowdy Roddy Stryper
Yeah, Stryper’s music rocks with electric guitars, but how have they never considered electric bagpipes?
In full black-and-yellow spandex kilts, Rowdy Roddy Stryper would bring you the hardest rocking Christian music hundreds of years of Scottish tradition has to offer!
Gizzards, Scrapper and Stryper
Stryper has helped kids find God, but hasn’t done much in the way of teaching them about the meat industry.
Enter Gizzards, Scrapper and Stryper, a group of butchers who, in between rocking some Stryper covers, would educate about how the parts of an animal are gathered and properly prepared.
A Stryper Called Quest
Remember a decade ago when full-length mash-ups projects were all the rage? It seems a lot of them were conceived based on a pun — like the Jay-Z/Radiohead mash-up “Jaydiohead” and the Jay-Z/Weezer mash-up “Jay-Zeezer”).
In that spirit, a band bringing together the best elements of Stryper and beloved hip-hop group A Tribe Called Quest couldn’t possibly make any more sense. Could it?