Music 12 Important Life Lessons Gleaned From Kool Keith’s Twitter Account
by Phillip Mlynar
Kool Keith is many things: a lyrical legend, an original oddball of the rap scene, and a man with a penchant for the kinkier side of the bedroom arena. He’s also something of a top Twitter fiend, with a timeline lit up by his wonky witticisms and off-kilter musings. So in honor of the release of Keith’s new album, Teddy Bass Presents: El Dorado Driven, here’s a guide to living life the Kool Keith way, as revealed through his Twitter feed. Enjoy!
See also: Top 10 Greatest Kool Keith Aliases
1. Buffing up on pornography is the secret to a successful live show.
Porn mag ritual before show pic.twitter.com/vYjkpjOjz9
— Kool Keith (@UltraMan7000) October 27, 2014
2. A bottle of the Bawse’s Belaire Rose is the only respectable tipple.
After the pandemonium in MIA pic.twitter.com/zy6EEm9e2k
— Kool Keith (@UltraMan7000) November 9, 2014
3. A formal scarf pulls together even the most eclectic of outfits.
— Kool Keith (@UltraMan7000) July 11, 2014
4. Breasteses on the birthday cake is a must.
Mad love from Erika, Swift, Rob and crew @TheJointArgenta last nite. We gotta do that again. #birthdaytits pic.twitter.com/TyhUc2w1WD
— Kool Keith (@UltraMan7000) October 10, 2014
5. Always respect the architects.
Give it up for SugarHill Gangs Big Bank Hank
— Kool Keith (@UltraMan7000) November 12, 2014
6. Maintain a strong ice-cream game.
Yall caption my mofo actions pic.twitter.com/tKxmb9KG
— Kool Keith (@UltraMan7000) May 19, 2012
7. Liner note reading is fundamental.
@GoodRoadBC book should be in every household and brothel pic.twitter.com/18VAqn8OSR
— Kool Keith (@UltraMan7000) November 9, 2014
8. Always make sure that Blowfly is your opening act.
Miami its time to get freaky tonight with @churchillspub w/ me, @UltraMan7000 & @BlowflyOfficial @ottovonschirach pic.twitter.com/3NVx0N34pT
— Otto Von Schirach (@ottovonschirach) November 8, 2014
9. Somewhere in the world’s it’s always horny o’clock.
Its that time in the moanin pic.twitter.com/epjhuBv97e
— Kool Keith (@UltraMan7000) September 18, 2014
10. When in Detroit, call up Danny Brown with all of your twerk tourist questions.
Yo @xdannyxbrownx where can i find this action right here in the D? https://t.co/vsiTCWC7Gz
— Kool Keith (@UltraMan7000) August 31, 2014
11. Be proud of your indie-rock connections.
@bankspaulbanks break in the lab pic.twitter.com/6uEEIFvcpB
— Kool Keith (@UltraMan7000) April 30, 2014
12. Breakfast is still the most important meal of the day.
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