12 Important Life Lessons Gleaned From Kool Keith’s Twitter Account

Kool Keith is many things: a lyrical legend, an original oddball of the rap scene, and a man with a penchant for the kinkier side of the bedroom arena. He’s also something of a top Twitter fiend, with a timeline lit up by his wonky witticisms and off-kilter musings. So in honor of the release of Keith’s new album, Teddy Bass Presents: El Dorado Driven, here’s a guide to living life the Kool Keith way, as revealed through his Twitter feed. Enjoy!

See also: Top 10 Greatest Kool Keith Aliases

1. Buffing up on pornography is the secret to a successful live show.

Porn mag ritual before show pic.twitter.com/vYjkpjOjz9

— Kool Keith (@UltraMan7000) October 27, 2014

2. A bottle of the Bawse’s Belaire Rose is the only respectable tipple.

After the pandemonium in MIA pic.twitter.com/zy6EEm9e2k

— Kool Keith (@UltraMan7000) November 9, 2014

3. A formal scarf pulls together even the most eclectic of outfits.

pic.twitter.com/cGAhcQylik

— Kool Keith (@UltraMan7000) July 11, 2014

4. Breasteses on the birthday cake is a must.

Mad love from Erika, Swift, Rob and crew @TheJointArgenta last nite. We gotta do that again. #birthdaytits pic.twitter.com/TyhUc2w1WD

— Kool Keith (@UltraMan7000) October 10, 2014

5. Always respect the architects.

Give it up for SugarHill Gangs Big Bank Hank

— Kool Keith (@UltraMan7000) November 12, 2014

6. Maintain a strong ice-cream game.

Yall caption my mofo actions pic.twitter.com/tKxmb9KG

— Kool Keith (@UltraMan7000) May 19, 2012

7. Liner note reading is fundamental.

@GoodRoadBC book should be in every household and brothel pic.twitter.com/18VAqn8OSR

— Kool Keith (@UltraMan7000) November 9, 2014

8. Always make sure that Blowfly is your opening act.

Miami its time to get freaky tonight with @churchillspub w/ me, @UltraMan7000 & @BlowflyOfficial @ottovonschirach pic.twitter.com/3NVx0N34pT

— Otto Von Schirach (@ottovonschirach) November 8, 2014

9. Somewhere in the world’s it’s always horny o’clock.

Its that time in the moanin pic.twitter.com/epjhuBv97e

— Kool Keith (@UltraMan7000) September 18, 2014

10. When in Detroit, call up Danny Brown with all of your twerk tourist questions.

Yo @xdannyxbrownx where can i find this action right here in the D? https://t.co/vsiTCWC7Gz

— Kool Keith (@UltraMan7000) August 31, 2014

11. Be proud of your indie-rock connections.

@bankspaulbanks break in the lab pic.twitter.com/6uEEIFvcpB

— Kool Keith (@UltraMan7000) April 30, 2014

12. Breakfast is still the most important meal of the day.

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