DIY: Cranberry Orange Relish Redux

So the Big Meal is almost upon us. You’re a Thanksgiving house guest and you haven’t even prepared a dish to bring?! Of course not. Because procrastination is as American as Turkey Day itself. I know what you were thinking; just pick up a cheap bottle of wine or a six pack from the local bodega on the way. But you’re better than that. Here’s a last second dish that involves five minutes with a Cuisinart and a few ingredients that you possibly already have in your refrigerator. No fuss, no muss: Cranberry-Orange Relish Redux.

First, a few words about this seductive side dish. Cranberry-Orange Relish is so full of awesome, we can’t even begin to describe it. It highlights literally every other food on the Thanksgiving table. You want a bite of dark meat, white meat, mashed potatoes, stuffing, green beans? All of it, tastier with a smattering of the tart, sweet stuff on top. Heck, we’ll eat it anytime of year. We don’t need to wait for a special occasion. If you’re suffering from a random mid-day craving, the Cinnamon Snail Food Truck–famous for their vegan fare and creme brûlée donuts–makes a mean rendition atop their Thanksgiving-inspired seitan sandwich.

But this dish is simple enough to be masterfully executed by anyone with opposable thumbs. Now’s the part of a ‘how-to’ where you’d generally read a recipe. That’s what’s so genius about Cranberry-Orange Relish: no recipe needed. Just take out a few oranges, quarter them and throw in, like, a small carton of cranberries, add some brown sugar, maybe a few pecans and some orange juice and just start blending. Everything is made to taste. If it’s too tart, add more brown sugar. If it’s too sweet, more cranberries. The only advice we can offer with certainty is that you shouldn’t over-process, because it’s nice to have noticeable shards of zest and berry for textural significance.

So what are you waiting for? Snatch the dusty, old Cuisinart from under your kitchen cabinet and snap to it. Your value as a house guest is about to increase dramatically. Enjoy your Thanksgiving — and don’t say we never did anything for you.