Theater

Comedian Loses His Mind While Trapped in Stranded 7 Train, Goes on Epic Twitter Rant

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Upright Citizens Brigade comedian Connor Ratliff is not having a good day.

At 8:45 a.m. he was getting on the 7 train in Woodside on his way to do Important Funny-Person Things, like meeting fellow comedian Jo Firestone to discuss a new project. But a burning umbrella stuck on the line’s third rail, along with icy conditions near Queensboro Plaza, threw a wrench in those plans.

“I get on the train and it stops…then that got taken care of and then I got stuck right before Queensboro Plaza,” says Ratliff, who performs with comedy troupe The Stepfathers and hosts the George Lucas Talk Show. “I’m, genuinely, a little claustrophobic. I just started tweeting to not think about it.”

And tweet he did. Ratliff, who is also an actor and filmmaker, unleashed a flurry of tweets that referenced the futuristic British television show Black Mirror, begged journalist Glenn Greenwald to expose his situation to the world, and gave us all a window into the world of a comedian slowly losing his mind.

As Ratliff’s tweets continued, he began to sink deeper into the terror of his own psyche.

“I was thinking back on all the missed opportunities,” Ratliff says. “You know, how like in a horror movie, when you’re watching it, and saying, ‘Leave town! Get out of the house!’ If only I’d known. What if I’d just gotten off at 33rd Street? I kept looking back on my opportunities to escape.”

Eventually his tweets just got weird:


Then they started getting really weird:


Finally, more than two hours later, at 11:04 a.m, Ratliff and his peers were freed. The train was still out of service. But the passengers were escorted through the train to leave through the back car, and he finally exited through 33rd Street station — but not before being indelibly marked with this tragic experience that he may remember for life.

His meeting already canceled, Ratliff decided to bag the rest of the day and head home.

“Once we got released, I had to walk back home. I was like, ‘I can’t do this, I can’t go back on the train. I just can’t do it,’ ” he says. “And then, you know how New York has these corner puddles that don’t look like a puddle at first? I stepped into one. And then I got splashed by a bus.

“I just screamed, ‘I’m moving to Europe,’ ” he adds. “Some woman looked up and was just terrified. I legitimately scared an old lady because of my outburst.”

Despite accidentally terrorizing a complete stranger, Ratliff likely made the right choice. At the time of publication, MTA rep Amanda Kwan confirmed that 7 trains in both directions were indefinitely out of service because of the umbrella incident and the icy tracks — which were completely unrelated.

“The subway is currently out of commission from Main Street to 42nd Street in both directions,” Kwan said.

Once Ratliff decides to rejoin society, he will be hosting another installment of the George Lucas Talk Show on Friday, February 6. As is custom, he will interview a panel of guests (which, this week, will include Voice film editor Alan Scherstuhl!) as the famed Star Wars creator.

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