Twenty Context-Free Lines From Andrew W.K.’s Most Popular Advice Columns


[Editor’s note: Every Wednesday, New York City’s own Andrew W.K. takes your life questions and sets you safely down the right path to a solution, a purpose, or — no surprise here — a party.]

This week Andrew has traded the slush-covered streets of New York City for the Wi-Fi–free high seas, so here’s a context-free sampling of his more memorable lines from his advice columns in the Voice. W.K. will return next week.

Click the date next to each quote to read the full column.

• “Let’s appreciate how one of the absolute best things in the whole world is accomplished by simply melting cheese on chips.” (12/17/14)

• “We must decide to follow our dream no matter how hard it feels. We must commit!” (7/23/14)

• “So, as Emily Dickinson so perfectly put it, ‘The heart wants what the heart wants.’?” (11/26/14)

• “He might just not realize how much of a jerk he’s being.” (7/30/14)

• “We can only learn so much about our minds, because we are using our minds to do so.” (10/29/14)

• “People don’t stop partying because they get old, they get old because they stop partying.” (10/22/14)

• “Few inventions have had a more beneficial and simultaneously dehumanizing impact on daily life than motor vehicles.” (8/20/14)

• “The world isn’t being destroyed by Democrats or Republicans, red or blue, liberal or conservative, religious or atheist — the world is being destroyed by one side believing the other side is destroying the world.” (8/6/14)

• “Work so hard on what you love that you don’t even notice the assholes anymore. We won’t let anyone stop our party.” (4/30/14)

• “The same people who say pizza is bad because it’s not ‘natural’ could also say electric guitar is bad because it didn’t naturally fall from the sky in one piece.” (9/24/14)

• “Ultimately, life’s too short for us to get bogged down by things like hairstyle and appearance.” (4/9/14)

• “If you really believe in peace, then love your friend, with all your heart, and don’t ever, ever stop.” (9/17/14)

• “At first it seems like it might be easier to put a sign on your front door that says, ‘This Home Is Protected by a Gun,’ but then that might actually attract more attention from a gun thief. Maybe just get a security system installed?” (4/16/14)

• “I want you to pray right now, just for the sake of challenging yourself.” (9/3/14)

• “Living in a city isn’t supposed to be easy. It’s supposed to be amazing.” (5/7/14)

• “I read the whole book in one day, and by the next morning, I had become a vegan.” (4/23/14)

• “Becoming a drug addict can be a perfectly reasonable reaction to the incredibly exhausting project called ‘being alive.’?” (5/14/14)

• “Much like music, smiling, and laughter, partying is one of the few activities enjoyed by all people across the globe since the dawn of civilization.” (8/13/14)

• “Life itself is the ultimate party — and if you love getting wasted, just don’t let it waste your chance to party.” (4/2/14)

• “You don’t have to agree with someone in order to love them.” (12/3/14)

See you next week!