If you aren’t already familiar with the term Jade Helm, now’s as good a time as any for a good laugh. What sounds like the title of an upcoming James Bond film is really an upcoming, large-scale military exercise taking place in the Southwest — if you believe our president, that is. Informed patriots realize it’s actually a nefarious scheme by the federal government that ends with a forceful occupation of Texas and parts of Utah. Obviously.
Naturally, you’d have to be nuts to believe in such an outlandish conspiracy theory, which is precisely why Texas Governor Greg Abbott is buying it. He recently allocated tax money to send over the state guard as watchdogs, protecting his citizens from this imagined threat. We’d love to serve him a tall glass of reality, but since that’s clearly not his drink of choice, we’ll offer a Forcefield instead. You know, to shield his constituents and all. It’s a new double IPA from Grimm — Brooklyn’s favorite gypsy brewers — and the perfect beer for thirsty New Yorkers and delusional Texans alike.
Forcefield is a hop whopper of epic magnitude. Its creation required a Texas-sized load of the bitter and aromatic “C-hops” — Citra and Cascade, mainly. It also features a lesser-known variety of hops called Jarrylo, known for spicy zest. Together, they offer tropical fruitiness on the nose, eliciting a mouth-watering response before the pint glass is even raised to lips.
Once you go in for the kill, your palate will be rewarded with the beer’s deceptively light body. It goes down with alarming ease for a 9 percent ABV imperial ale, mobilizing a swift assault on your sobriety. In the end, bitterness is contained through a strategic deployment of malt in the finish.
Forcefield was brewed earlier this year on Staten Island — a place that, to most New Yorkers, remains as mysterious as Jade Helm. Brewed in limited quantities, it might soon vanish without a trace. But don’t be too paranoid: The proprietors of Pony Bar in Hell’s Kitchen claim to currently have it on draft — and we have a hunch you can trust them. That, or it’s a sinister plot to get you drunk. Keep your wits about you, folks. Trust no one! Except maybe your bartender.