Film

Romantic Comedy ‘The Dog Wedding’ Stars Pups and a Pro Wrestler but Still Has No Surprises

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Information theory is a branch of mathematics that attempts to quantify the nature of information itself, one of the features of which is that it is orderly but not predictable. An infinite string of alternating numerals like (…01010101…) is orderly, but it conveys no information because it is completely predictable.

As an example of information’s unpredictability, consider the following sentence: Ambitious German pickle heiress Ulrika Schmidt (Rosalie Thomass), in town to conduct mass layoffs at her company’s newest acquisition, meets pro wrestler Matthew “The Manimal” Pierce (WWE grappler–turned-trainer Matt Bloom) at the dog park after their bulldogs hump. The odds against randomly generating this sentence are extraordinarily high, and information theory says that it has a high entropy value.

Presumably, director James Lefkowitz had access to pro wrestlers, bulldogs, a pickle cannery, and a Final Draft license key, artistic implements that resulted in his comedy The Dog Wedding. But the film never reconciles the incongruities of its constituent parts, which hang together like toothpaste and orange juice. The Manimal, struck by the handsomeness of Ulrika’s bulldog, proposes an arranged dog marriage with procreative intentions, but the film buries this signal with a lot of noise: dumb jokes, a tasteless Hitler-referencing speech from Ulrika’s CEO dad, editing that emphasizes the awkwardness of the mostly amateur actors.

As measured by the metric of standard romantic comedies, the courtship that ensues between the human couple as they plan a canine wedding ceremony is as predictable as infinitely repeating numbers, but the dogs are really fucking cute.

The Dog Wedding

Directed by Jeff Lefkowitz

Opens March 11, Cinema Village

Available on demand