News Roundup

How to Survive a Samurai Sword Attack, Walmart Is Coming

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• Governor Cuomo said he feels SHOCKED and BETRAYED by the actions of his former right-hand man Joe Percoco, who this week was convicted of accepting $300,000 in cash bribes. In case you don’t believe Cuomo is in touch with his inner feelings, why, he’s got these very human emotions written down on a piece of paper he carried with him while talking to the press.

• Dutchess County executive/Cuomo foe Marc Molinaro told his supporters that he will launch a campaign for governor on April 2. Bold move, kicking it off on April Fool’s Day.

• A Washington State man whose girlfriend stabbed him with a samurai sword after suspecting him of cheating credited his obsession with the martial arts form Wing Chun with helping him survive. The 29-year-old man denied cheating on his girlfriend, and blamed video games for his lack of affection and sex drive.

• Both the state assembly and the senate ducked a real congestion pricing plan in their proposed budgets, which means it’s up to notorious mass transit advocate Andrew Cuomo to push for it. Lol.

• A bus driver who killed a 58-year-old woman in Kew Gardens wasn’t charged with anything despite having hit her with his vehicle while she was in a crosswalk, which violates the city’s Right of Way Law.

• Owners who are renting out their pieds-à-terre on Airbnb are screwing up the housing market and turning buildings into either ghost towns or hotels by another name. Some city officials are suggesting a pied-à-terre tax.

• Walmart, which has been unable to open a New York City store, is partnering with Uber and e-retailer Jet to offer same-day delivery in the five boroughs.

Toys R Us will soon be dead, but don’t forget that private equity firms played a role in the demise of the place where a kid could be a kid, by taking out huge loans to buy the company and then making it pay the loans back.

• Donald Trump Jr. is allegedly about to be back on the market…ladies.

All is not lost for the Jets, even though they failed to lure quarterback Kirk Cousins to New York/New Jersey. The draft awaits. Then all really will be lost!

• Police in Queens seized nearly 200 pounds of pot and 19 bags of ketamine in a drug raid. In totally unrelated news, I’m adjusting my weekend plans.

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