How to Ask a Guy Out


Ladies, it’s about time we abolish the unwritten rule that men have to make the first move! Because sometimes, the guy we like probably doesn’t know how to ask us out. So why don’t you try doing that instead? It may be difficult to come up with ways how to ask a guy out because it’s not commonly done — but it’s not impossible and it shouldn’t be intimidating. Sometimes, it can actually be romantic!

How to Ask a Guy Out in Scenarios Like These:

How to ask a guy out if you don’t know him

That cute guy over there at the coffee shop? Will you just let the moment pass by or will you take your chance? Of course, you should do the latter! — imagine how much better he’d look if you started ordering coffee alongside him the next time! But it can be a scary risk to take — especially if you’re an introvert. Sometimes, it’s bad enough to be approached. But to be the one approaching? The human instinct is to just “nope” out of the situation. But that shouldn’t be the case every time!

Find confidence in believing that #1, you’re so much better looking than what you give yourself credit for. #2, as long as you don’t act like a creep, your interaction will most likely be a pleasant one. #3, lots of guys find it attractive if you make the first move — go ahead and tell them that you indeed find them good-looking and you couldn’t help but approach them.

However, don’t make the interaction solely about his physical appearance! Show him also that you’re genuinely interested in them. Ask them their name, what they do for a living, and if they’re willing to go out with you to get to know each other better.

If the cute guy refuses to give out information about himself, take it as a hint that he’s not interested — or that he may just be in a hurry to get to work. If you think that’s the case, you can ask for his number instead. Again, if they’re unwilling to give it, read the room and move along. However, if they give you their number, you can start (or continue) your conversation with them via phone.

How to ask a guy out if you already know him

If the cutie at work hasn’t asked you out, they either don’t see you as a potential partner, or they do — but they’re just too shy to ask you out on a date. But it can also be because they’re the one who’s thinking that you’re not interested in them! If you’re already acquainted with each other, it should be slightly easier to approach the guy you’re interested in.

Depending on your degree of interaction, it might come off as odd if you suddenly asked your crush out when you guys barely talk to each other! That said, the non-creepy way of asking a guy out — when you barely talk to them — is to slowly get to know them first. But don’t go purposely looking for them in the hallways or wait for them by the elevator just to have an encounter with them! Just talk to them when you get the chance. Once you establish familiarity, you can then ask if they’d want to grab a bite after work.

If you already frequently talk to your crush, and you know them to a certain level, it’s going to be easy to approach them and ask them on a date. But do it casually or in a way that you normally interact with them. Take your time if you’re feeling the jitters — you might end up worrying the guy you like if you’re a quivering mess! Once you’re no longer nervous, that’s the best time to approach them.

How to ask a guy out over text

Again, if you barely interact with the guy you like, you might confuse them and think you sent a text wrong if you suddenly asked them out for a few drinks on the weekend. The great thing about text messages is they won’t see you being a nervous wreck — and you don’t have to worry about looking good. You can be in the comfort of your own home wearing PJs! The second great thing about asking a guy out over text is the efficiency and convenience of having a phone. So asking your crush out over text should be a more comfortable ordeal.

Regardless of how much you already know your crush, or how frequently you talk to them via text messages, start first by asking them how they’re doing, what they’re doing, and what they’ll be doing — besides the smooth approach toward the “big” question, you also have to be considerate because they might be in the middle of something. Once you feel as though the conversation is going smoothly, you can simply just steer the topic toward the going-on-a-date part.

Perhaps you can get an idea from texts like this:

  • I see you love basketball. Maybe we can go watch a game sometime?
  • It sucks you’re so stressed out from work. If you’d like, we can go have some drinks to unwind.
  • I love Mexican food, too! I know a great place. Wanna go check it out?

The not-so-great thing about texts? There’s the probability of them not responding! But it’s either because they’re busy or they don’t know how to say they’re not interested. Until they respond, however, don’t overthink! Occupy yourself with other activities until they reply.

How to ask a guy out over the phone

Unlike text messages, talking to a guy over the phone will eliminate that dreadful waiting time of finding out if a date with you is a “yay” or a “nay.” You’re also (supposed to) hear the sincerity in the person’s voice if they’re genuinely interested in going out with you or not. But don’t just cold call a guy just to ask them if they want to go on a date with you! 75% of Gen Z and Millenials find cold calling to be rude and anxiety-inducing! That’s why as with most approaches, the convo that leads to asking your crush out should be done gradually.

Make sure first that they’re not busy and they’re not preoccupied with other things. Once you’re sure that he’s focused on you, have a casual conversation with him over the phone. Once you feel that the atmosphere is right, go ahead and say something like, “Hey. What are you doing on the weekend? I was wondering if you want to go to (whichever place you think you’d both enjoy) with me.” But that way of approaching a guy over the phone shouldn’t be the template. Go ahead and get creative with it!


Rejection is applicable to both genders. It’s typically the most common reason why people are afraid to make the first move. But if you know how to ask a guy out and you’re prepared to be denied a date with him, you at least mustered up the courage and confidence to ask them out! But, of course, that’s part of the dating scene. However, what you need to aim for is to go on a date with your crush and — hopefully — take it to the next level. That’s why you should dare ask him out! He may be the one for you!

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