Ever Have A Crush On A Cartoon Character?

I asked that question once before and the responses were so fervent that I had to retire to my plushie for some comfort before finally getting up the nerve to return to the human world again.

But I’m back and ready to ask it one more time.

Ever fall in love with an animated figure?

Ever want to blow Daffy, screw Goofy, felch Cinderella?

Ever feel a sudden urge to fist Marge Simpson, finger Cartman, or shove a gerbil up Ann-Margrock?

Do you go to bed wanting to ride roughshod with Woody from Toy Story?

Have you ever been overcome with a sudden craving to get together with Gaston and double-penetrate the teacup?

Lie awake at night wishing you could be 69-ing with Betty Boop, indulging in light frottage with Wall-E, or rimming Ratatouille?

I’m partial to the adorably deadpan Droopy Dawg (above) myself — though we’d no doubt have to do it dawgie style.