| **OnlineHost** Welcome to OiNKO Sympathizers Chat! |
| rear_edmurrow: Good evening. /lights cigarette |
| rear_edmurrow: This week, the popular music-sharing site OiNK was taken offline by authorities, and its 24-year-old suspected administrator was arrested and charged. |
| rear_edmurrow: A menacing message was placed on /lights second cigarette oinkth web thite that thtated a |
| rear_edmurrow: fuck it /rips off filters, flicks off cherries, swallows cigarettes whole |
| rear_edmurrow: Ahem. A menacing message was placed on OiNK’s web site announcing that an investigation has launched to learn the identities of OiNK sympathizers around the world. |
| rear_edmurrow: CBS has arranged an interview tonight with the man spearheading the inquiry, the junior senator from Wisconsin, Joseph McCarthy. |
| DudeWheresMcCarthy: ah hello |
| rear_edmurrow: Senator, please detail your aims with this investigation. |
| DudeWheresMcCarthy: well ah,the ah. . . ahhh i ahh |
| DudeWheresMcCarthy: sorry, i know you’re comfortable in this medium but the internet is not my format of choice |
| rear_edmurrow: got you by the balls now b1tch |
| DudeWheresMcCarthy: look, i’m very aware that my persona and the word “mccarthyism” are regularly misused to prop up half-baked arguments by people all over the internet |
| DudeWheresMcCarthy: but seriously, fear mongering aside, you have to admit that music stealing is unethical and nobody who used Oinko didn’t know it was a crime |
| rear_edmurrow: whatever music belongs to everyone duuude you can’t, like, own things |
| DudeWheresMcCarthy: you Oinko sympathizers have no one to blame but yourselves for stealing music |
| rear_edmurrow: man fuck you, you can’t just go prosecuting people who steal stuff, what kind of kafkaesque orwellian nightmare are we living in |
| DudeWheresMcCarthy: do you even know who orwell is |
| rear_edmurrow: the dude who stood in front of the tank with the suitcase aw shit 4:20 |
| rear_edmurrow: /lights Parliament shiiiiit lol don’t taze me broooooo |
| DudeWheresMcCarthy: Listen, I cannot win an argument with you in Internet-speak. |
| rear_edmurrow: Fine. All I have left to say is that if people steal from a bloated financial behemoth and face longer terms than sex offenders, I am going to laugh until I cry. Or wait, maybe I’ll cry until I laugh. |
| DudeWheresMcCarthy: I think we can all agree with that sentiment. |
| rear_edmurrow: This is Edward R. Murrow. Good night, and good luck. |
| **OnlineHost** The studio lights dim. |
| rear_edmurrow: … oh god oh god oh god /freaks the fuck out |
| rear_edmurrow: /rips out hard drive, tosses in microwave so am i going to the “oz” jail or the “ernest goes to jail” jail |
| DudeWheresMcCarthy: the comforts of neither, the horrors of both |
| rear_edmurrow: in retrospect, downloading the new feist album was just barely worth it |
