Who could be more qualified to curate this thing than me?
And I’m quite certain you can help!
Here are the exhibits and displays I’ve already got in mind:
*Asymmetrical outfits, calculatedly damaged jeans, body paint, sideways visors, and sunglasses
All represented in the above photo — a miracle of victimization!
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*Shoulder pads
Any kind of shoulder pads. They scream “victim!” and usually look like unhealthy growths that need to be looked at by a medical professional.
*Expensive designer handbags
Don’t people know the cheap knockoffs look exactly the same? Dummos!
*The collar up
This invariably makes me spew. It’s so silly looking, like the wearer just came out of a pretentious, dated gay wind tunnel.
*Polka dots
They’ve always looked horrible on anyone except Jeff Chandler. Even horizontal stripes are more flattering.
*Nose rings
They make me want to pull really hard.
*A tattoo of your own name
What, you couldn’t remember it?
And finally …
*Cosby-style sweaters
I have a million of them!
In fact, the museum is located right in my walk-in closet.
