Hogan’s Heroes Star Hated Me!

Werner Klemperer — the zany Nazi from TV’s Hogan’s Heroes — just turned up in a trashy old movie on TCM, which totally reminded me:

One of the first columns I ever wrote humorously referred to club majordomo Rudolf Pieper as “the Werner Klemperer of open bars.”

I was simply saying Pieper’s the notable German in a whole other situation than the notable German I’d referenced is famous for.

It’s like saying, “He’s the Norman Mailer of trash,” or, “She’s the Queen Elizabeth of origami.”

]

But Klemperer wasn’t having it.

His lawyer wrote me some very severe letters demanding a retraction because Klemperer didn’t drink and wanted no part of this association.

He just didn’t get it, wrongly interpreting the item to be saying the actor was an alkie.

But I carefully explained myself, assuring them that the write-up made no connection between him and boozing at all.

That shut them up — which confirmed my status as the Norman Mailer of trash.