In Which Journalism Makes Intern Rosie Un-Dateable


Intern Rosie went on a date with this guy who was doing 30 dates in 30 days. The rub: Hottie McSteamerson makes a video of each of his dates. Rosie originally wrote the intro-copy for this, but an executive decision was made to use this space to offer up Rosie’s Very Incredibly Awesomely Awkward Video Date as a sacrifice to our own Jen Doll, who’s about to go on vacation. The only line of Rosie’s original intro we’ll keep is this: How embarrassing is it? Very embarrassing. Is there a better parting gift than this? No. The answer is no. Rosie, up! Onto the altar of dignity you go.

Brian actually put five dates into one video. I was Date Number 10. My section of the video includes a soliloquy from Brian in which he laments us “girls who work at the press” because we ask a lot of questions. “It doesn’t really feel like a date,” quoth he. He’s just lucky I didn’t pull out my tape recorder/notebook!

And then there’s the entire segment in which I am sitting with him on a park bench, drunk, smoking a cigarette, and giggling like an asshole. We can forget about that part. We can also forget about the voicemail at the end (don’t fast forward to it, please!). [Ed. DO IT.]

Back to: “It doesn’t really feel like a date.” Well, that’s the whole issue with this project, right? It’s a cute stunt, but difficult to quantify with reality when you know you’re going to be in A Video On The Internet. The entire thing manifests in reality as this tense, inadvertent performance-disguised-as-date, as if first dates weren’t enough of a tense performance. And this particular situation’s particularly complex, since I was reporting on him, and he was reporting on me. Way too much reporting for one date. As if “any” isn’t too much.

It makes me wonder if any of the other dates think they’re about to find their match with this thing. If they’re all just doing it because it’s funny, that’s fine, but is this part of the larger culture diluting or distorting American perceptions of dating? Seems pretty tough to find “the one” if a process like this is so public. That’s why it’s jarring when reality TV people seem to “fall in love” on television (looking at you, Ronnie and Sammi!) — if it’s real, then awesome. But how could it be, with a camera in your face and thousands of people watching?

Without going to far down the rabbit hole, the way we date in 2010 is, frankly, bizarre. Dating’s no longer something that only takes place between two people, but between two people and then — if you’re anything like many, many people — whoever else wants to read whatever’s online on it.

In other words, the Internet is going to ruin my love life, and possibly yours. Anyway, here’s the video. At least my dress is cute?