Jersey Shore’s The Situation Now Has a Workout Video “Situation”

Here’s a good one to file under Things You Knew Were Bound To Happen But When They Do The Only Proper Response Is “This Is Actually Happening,” as Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino of Jersey Shore fame has finally released his workout video.

Well, better than a sex tape. Via the New York Daily News and Radar Online, yes, this is real, yes, it will probably make money, and yes, the trainer The Situation worked with is called “The Unit,” which is probably a name passed down from generations of guys calling their penis that. The catch?

When the team was putting the workout together, simplicity was the name of the game. Manfe and the Sorrentino brothers reportedly wanted to make the video so the workouts could be done anywhere at any time.

It’s a savvy move — not unlike their inadvertent appearance on the cover of the Village Voice — seeing as how Jersey Shore and their cast have already yielded a not-negligible effect on G.T.L. (Gym, Tanning, and Laundry, the essential “Guido” routine) market futures. If you’re among those who keep asking themselves when the Jersey Shore stars will finally burn out, shield your eyes, as you clearly aren’t preparing correctly for their potential to further explode into supernova money machines via schlocky side-businesses for another year or two. This is still happening. Yes, this is still, somehow, happning.