Project Runway: The Gastric Bypass Episode

Thank God we only ever bet fake money, because we were positive the guest judge was going to be Kirstie Alley or Valerie Bertinelli last night on Project Runway. Instead it was a guy from the Gap. Boring!

So, after a couple of weeks of lame challenges, Bravo brought back the magic with a bunch of ladies who had been real fat in the eighties, then had slipped into comas for a few decades, during which they lost 50 or 100 pounds, and then they woke up, still wearing their favorite, now gigantic, heinous blazers from the Working Girl days.

Seriously, that’s your favorite outfit? Now that you don’t have to shop in the fat lady store, that’s still your favorite outfit??

Anyway, the designer had to work with this crap and these not ideal models, and they came up with some bizarre shit. Hot transformer HIV guy had to leave because his mouth blew up like a Japanese cartoon character. It was sad and we were shocked that it didn’t make us cry. Wilmer did cry, however. Unsurprising. He was so proud of his insane Fulton Mall outfit. Whatever. Pass the joint this way.