The Six Worst Chain Restaurants in NYC

Something about a chain restaurant tends to breed familiarity and efficiency, but it can also lead to a certain blandness and a numbing lack of individuality which makes chowing down tasteless in more ways than one.

Here are the six worst in Gotham, in ascending order of awfulness.

(6) Quiznos. I have no idea what that sauce they put on the sandwiches is, but it ain’t food!

(5) Ollie’s Noodle Shop. Your meal comes out a little too fast, and the second you take the last bite, they’re whooshing you out the door so they can have the table. All the efficiency of dining in a factory, minus the charm.

(4) Cosi. Not as bad as the movie of the same name, but does anyone really want this much flatbread?

(3) KFC. I swear they’ve tampered with the formula, and even the cole slaw and biscuits aren’t as zingy as they used to be. Plus there are too many questions. (“Original or crispy? White or dark?”) Just give me chicken! And less seediness, please! You risk your life just to sit there and eat this shit.

(2) Applebee’s. Middle America attacks! Only old people would like this place, but the music’s too loud for them. As for anyone else, at least you know there’s no chance someone will ever catch you there.

And the winner…

(1) The Olive Garden. Skimpy portions, no atmosphere, and as much Italian flavor as a soccer calendar. “All you can eat” here usually means not much!