The Inauguration approacheth! Last time we had one of these things, liberals complained of the cost, and conservatives defended it. Now the shoe is on the other foot, and we must expect it to kick. When conservatives kick, though, they give the ball plenty of spin.
Donors to this year’s Presidential Inauguration Committee have raised more than $40 million for Tuesday’s party. That’s about what was raised for the second Bush Inaugural. But the total costs will include security and other government functions, putting them much higher. Rightwing operators have pushed the story that Obama’s Inaugural will cost $150 million — $160 million if you add the rightblogger vig. And, as Eric Boehlert has reported, they usually leave out the government costs of Bush’s Second Inaugural, leading credulous rightbloggers to spread the bogus story that this Inauguration will cost four times as much as the last.
That’s grand mischief, but merely speaks to rightbloggers’ usefulness at spreading propaganda from the central office. They’re much more adorable when they come up with their own stuff. So at the end of the pre-Obama era, let’s review some of the outrages they needed no help to discover — like the Pepsi’s new Obama-fied logo and campaign, and all the companies rightbloggers will have to boycott because they’ve climbed aboard the Obama bandwagon.
When Pepsi launched their hope-and-changey “Refresh Everything” marketing campaign, some were annoyed at Pepsi’s poor taste. Rightbloggers, of course, were enraged that Obama is popular enough to merit such treatment.
“Not the most shameless bit of Obama-related marketing I’ve seen, but certainly the lamest,” said Allahpundit. “I find giant chunks of irony in all the marketing hoopla behind someone whose supporters don’t have any money,” said MT Pundit, supporting his curious assertion with a clip about hippies from “South Park.” “If Pepsi did not taste a little like vomit before, it will now,” said TigerHawk, apparently having second thoughts about the Obama honeymoon he earlier called to extend.
“PEPSI kicks off Age of Obama (AB- After Barack) with a new Oba-logo and Hopey-Change website to honor the Marxisant radical,” cried Gateway Pundit. “This flat soda (or pop, as we call it in Michigan) is in the tank for Barry Hussein,” said Debbie Schlussel.
Inspired by the soda advertising, The Anchoress quoted a perhaps imaginary friend who said that Washington “is starting to feel like North Korea, with its ‘Dear Leader’ vibe.” The Anchoress rejoined that “Obama may not encourage all this idol worship, but he does nothing to discourage it, either.” Thus are the sins of the Pepsi visited upon the President-Elect.
Some of them took it seriously enough to boycott Pepsi. “Another reason to drink Coke instead of Pepsi,” said Patterico. “I think it’s time to switch to Coke or Faygo,” said Motor City Times. The Right Side of Wisconsin broadened the boycott to include Pepsi-owned Frito-Lay, Tropicana, Quaker, and Gatorade. “Pepsico should know that we do not appreciate their shameless pandering to the Obama Oligarchy,” they said. (A commenter added dozens of other brands owned by or partnered with Pepsico, including Mountain Dew and Cheetos, which we can’t imagine any rightblogger doing without.)
They still had to be careful what they drank instead: Jones Soda has an Inauguration-themed product on sale. Jane Q. Republican threatened to switch to milk, and also pointed out that Jones Soda is expensive (“Something else this soda and Obama have in common”), as did Hot Air. (But they’re also maddened by free Obama-related services: that the Inauguration will be shown free in some movie theaters moved a Tree of Liberty commenter to observe, “They are taking all that they learned from Hitler and emphasizing what worked and tweaking out what didn’t. I’m pretty well convinced that those of us who will not bow to him will die because of it.”)
Boycott was a commonly expressed remedy. “The Obamagasms from manufacturers are making me think twice about which products I purchase,” said Bungalow Bill’s Conservative Wisdom. Though it’s her favorite soda, “I am never drinking Jones again,” forswears Conservative Gamer Gal. “Nothing but Coke and Snapple tea for me, unless of course they too go on the Obama bandwagon.” (Please, nobody tell her about this.)
Other Obama-friendly brands got similar treatment. Conservative Women Unite! contemplated abandoning Starbucks just because its shops will be showing the Inauguration live on TV — also, treasonously, without charge, though you may have to buy some coffee. Or you can get a free coffee if you pledge to do community service, which Civics News denounced as fascism.
Other rightbloggers bravely offered to boycott the inauguration. “I can think of no greater way to usher in the Obama Presidency,” said Liberty Lounge, “than for gunowners to boycott the Inauguration and head for the firing range.” (Sic semper tyrannus, y’all!)
That’s hardcore, but not a patch on followers of the American Life League, who seriously believed that the use of the phrase “freedom of choice” in Krispy Kreme’s Inauguration Day donut giveaway was a pro-abortion plot, and forced the donut-maker to remove the offensive mention of freedom. “Did they think the Conservatives in America just stopped watching what happens in this country?” asked Disenfranchised American. American Papist didn’t understand why people thought their confectionary conspiracy theory crazy: “‘Freedom of choice’ is a liberal-invented euphemism for ‘abortion on demand’ to begin with!” Funny, we thought it was a Devo song (the video for which features donuts! You don’t suppose…?)
No matter where they turned, though, rightbloggers couldn’t get away from Obama, and it made them nervous. Save WRKO’s Brian Maloney was on the verge of congratulating himself for dumping Comcast on political grounds — “With Comcrap now establishing an all-Obama channel, isn’t it finally time to make the switch?” — when he found a pre-recorded message on his answering machine from his new vendor, Verizon, “imploring me to watch [Obama’s] ‘historic’ inaugural, using a tone that assumed we are all liberal Democrats and Obamists.”
Naturally the presence of an Obama channel on one cable service, and a promotion for a widely-anticipated event from the other, proved to Maloney that “we are all compelled to participate” in the “Obama cult.” And “like it or not, Obama is being shoved down our throats through a daily pressure campaign that permeates every aspect of our lives. Resistance is truly futile… there is no escaping their Messiah’s divine image.”
And, lest we forget, Maloney added historical perspective: “That’s EXACTLY how it’s done in North Korea, Turkmenistan, Venezuela, Cuba and other assorted basketcase banana republics across the globe. Is this still America?”
First they came for the cable networks, but I was a DSL user, so I said nothing… Rightblogger freedom of choice, if we may use so abortionist a term, may drive them to Time Warner — but like other cable companies, Time Warner gave subscribers free HBO access to Obama’s Lincoln Memorial concert on Sunday. (Rightbloggers who hadn’t heard this news, meanwhile, complained that HBO wasn’t showing it: “No HBO? No Soup for You.” The cable conspiracy apparently gets you coming and going.) Who knows what coded Obama-messages they’re sending over the fiber optic? Looks like rightbloggers will have to create their own Sarah Palin Cable Company. Alternately, they could calm down. But what are the chances of that?
This article from the Village Voice Archive was posted on January 19, 2009