Today’s Urban Wildlife Issues


The Times tells us today about feral parrots. Wait — feral? You mean like the old ladies who owned them said Polly want a cracker? and the parrots said NO Polly don’t want a goddamn cracker, bit their faces and flew out the window? No, on closer inspection they mean the Quaker parrots we mentioned last year, whom wildlife-loving mayoral candidate Tony Avella was trying to save in Brooklyn. Only this time it’s human needs that are being addressed — that is, in Queens Con Ed is trying to keep the critters from building nests on electrical equipment, which often blow up and catch fire as a result. (As you can see from the video, the birds can be unreasonable.) They had some success with a mechanical owl that swiveled its head and went “whoo.” The birds were scared for awhile, but unfortunately the owl’s batteries ran out, so the parrots came back and fucked with the owl, building a nest right next to it. Con Ed got a new owl, so we’ll see how it goes.

But it’s not all man-vs.-nature today: when the MTA heard about a goose with a broken wing on the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge, without a thought for themselves they went out there and got him! Turns out he was from Poly Prep High School in Bay Ridge. He is believed to be the MTA first goose rescue, though they tell amNY‘s Urbanite they have retrieved “the occasional chicken.”

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