The Lousy Onstage Pickup Line Hall of Fame Hereby Inducts Mickey Factz


Actual seduction not depicted, but you should be grateful, trust me.

If you’ve not had the pleasure of one of the Roots’ jam sessions at Highline Ballroom, know first of all that “jam” is taken very literally: They’re more or less just fucking around, learning how to play Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy” in real time, indulging in remarkably conversational stage banter (Black Thought: “I’m 10 days in on some clean and sober shit. I’m tryin’ to preserve my esophagus”), etc. Tuesday night’s fete had a few big-shot guests — Booker T. (more on him later), Grand Puba, and the generally boring John Forte singing Cher’s “Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down).” But it’s the more random guests (stupendously raunchy r&b howler Jaguar Wright) and occurrences (mesmerizingly volatile Brooklyn rapper/violinist Joya Bravo tearing through the aforementioned “Crazy”) that you’re liable to remember. And then there’s Bronx rapper/amateur loverman Mickey Factz.

A rather manic counterpoint to the Booker T. jam that preceded him, Mickey’s blaring three-song set climaxed when he pulled a young, aloof lass in the front row onstage for a sort of quasi-LL Cool J seduction jam, except the lady in question couldn’t dance at all, jerking arrhythmically as Mickey rhymed “lost her brain” with “give me brain” and so forth. Eventually she got weirded out and climbed back offstage of her own volition, at which point Mickey purred, and I quote, “Fuck with me on Twitter.”

“Fuck with me on Twitter.”

“Fuck with me on Twitter.”

“Fuck with me on Twitter.”

I don’t know that I’m enjoying living in this century.

(PS: It would appear she has not yet fucked with him on Twitter.)

Archive Highlights