Here she is, folks. The product of L. Ron Hubbard’s planet-clearing technology! The sparkling, superhuman Tammy Gardner, newly minted OT VIII!
OK, for you doubters out there, Tammy is the promised “clear” that Hubbard talked about way back when he introduced his idea of Dianetics in 1950. See, the human mind is cluttered with all kinds of junk that keeps us from realizing our potential, but one man, L. Ron Hubbard, discovered a science (oops, “religion”) to take away that clutter, leaving a human being “clear” to realize his or her potential!
And what potential! Hubbard’s clears were supposed to have all sorts of superpowers once they could finally rid themselves of the disembodied space alien souls clinging to us all (Oops! Until we’ve forked over the price of a small house, we’re not supposed to call them that! Uh, better just call them “engrams,” or mental scars). Anyway, like we said, once that clutter is gone, clears are supposed to have the ability to leave their bodies, the skills to mentally rearrange space and time, they’re supposed to be clairvoyant, they’re immune to all disease, and they have total recall. (Surely those papers Tammy keeps shuffling around are just a prop! Who needs notes when you’re OT VIII!)
Sure, it’s a little hard to believe that a pill popping college dropout science fiction hack genius like L. Ron could figure this out all on his own — but just look at Tammy! What more proof do you need!
Her space is huge! She’s fully in the present time! And if to your uninitiated eyes she maybe doesn’t look like she has superpowers, or even much sense, you have to understand, she’s just reached the absolute tippy-top of all Hubbard levels, Operating Thetan Eight, and she’s done it on the legendary ship Freewinds, a Scientology barge that fleeces high-level Scieno babblers for tens of thousands of dollars is an AWESOME way to be one with L. Ron!!
And if you enjoy watching Tammy achieve her superhero state, just check out these other amazing OT VIIIs who have been unleashed and will soon be clearing the planet so that all of us can remove our own space alien parasites fork over our mortgages to the biggest nonprofit scam in the country the Tom Cruise Crazy Club!
Tip of the Entheta Hat to Wise Beard Man at Xenu TV
For even more from our super fun L. Ron Hubbard library…
The Larry Wollersheim Saga — Scientology Finally Pays For Its Fraud
The Tory Bezazian (Christman) Story — How the Internet Saved A Scientologist From Herself
The Jason Beghe Defection — A Scientology Celebrity Goes Rogue
The Paul Haggis Ultimatum — The ‘Crash’ Director Tells Scientology to Shove It