What’s The Worst Surgery You’ve Ever Seen?

I’ll tell you mine:

Not long ago, I was introduced to a woman whose cheeks jutted out at least a foot beyond her face.

High cheekbones are always lovely, but this woman’s entered a room a full 10 minutes before she did.

On top of that, one of her eyes had been lifted way higher than the other, making her look a little too middle-period Picasso.

And her lips were obscenely pumped up, as if at a gas station, but they still were barely visible under the broad shadow of those mutant cheeks.

Looking at the woman without spewing chunks required so much good will I feel I deserved the Oscar just for saying hello.

And you?