If you’re the kind of person who sometimes asks themselves why some people hate Sex and the City so much, you are either (A) not living in New York or (B) one of the imported creatures or various changes in New York City that Sex and the City is responsible for. Well, in the new movie, Carrie carries (HA) out a Jihad on Dubai, so maybe others will follow suit. Meanwhile, here are the ten funniest, meanest, most awesome things written by movie critics about the new film:
10. “Are we done yet? Second ‘Sex’ flick hits a new Manolo with drab four..” – Sub-headline/dek of Kyle Smith’s New York Post review.
9. “The film is an epic eyesore.” – Second sentence, second paragraph, David Edelstein’s New York Magazine review.
8. “Admittedly, the horny blonde, the cougar of the franchise’s female quartet, does her libidinous best, but, having warded off cancer and now battling the encircling demons of menopause, the odds and those damned hot flashes are decidedly against her.” – Second sentence, in the second of twelve listed reasons why it deserves “a star an a half” of Rick Groen’s Globe and Mail review.
7. “The contrived gaiety takes camp to new levels.” – Last sentence, second-to-last paragraph of Claudia Puig’s USA Today review.
6. “…Frankly, I cannot stomach another moment of the simpering, mincing, hair-tossing, eyelash-batting little-girl shtick she’s been pulling ever since she emerged, with considerably more verve and charm, as a high-colonic Malibu Barbie opposite Steve Martin in L.A. Story.” – First sentence, fifth paragraph of Ella Taylor’s Village Voice review.
5. “Amy Odell, of nymag.com’s [fashion blog] The Cut, accompanied me to the screening and was kind enough to whisper that a particular dress of Carrie’s cost 50 grand. But what’s the point of spending that much when the cinematographer, John Thomas, lights Sarah Jessica Parker to bring out the leatheriness of her skin?” – First and second sentences, fourth paragraph, David Edelstein’s New York Magazine review.
4. “.…This deadly, brainless exercise in pointless tedium is dedicated to the screeching audacity of delusional self-importance that convinces these people the whole world is waiting desperately to watch two hours and 25 minutes of platform heels, fake orgasms and preposterous clothes.” – Second sentence, first paragraph, Rex Reed’s New York Observer review.
3. “[Liza Minelli’s] version [of “All The Single Ladies”] is in no way superior to the one in “Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel,” and it is somehow both the high point of “Sex and the City 2” and a grim harbinger of what is to come. The number starts out campy, affectionate and self-aware, but at some point turns desperate, grating and a little sad.” – Second and third sentences, second paragraph, A.O. Scott’s New York Times review.
2. “The characters of “Sex and the City 2” are flyweight bubbleheads living in a world which rarely requires three sentences in a row. Their defining quality is consuming things.” – The second and third sentences of Roger Ebert’s Chicago Sun-Times review.
1. “SUCKS IN THE CITY” – The headline of Kyle Smith’s New York Post review.