It’s summer, and as we all know, many businesses get slow in the summer. Media is one of these businesses, and in media, you have to diversify in order to stay afloat, or something. It’s bad enough you have to concern yourself with the terrible fate of blogger burnout in this heat! But making that extra summer scrilla, too? Well, we here at Runnin’ Scared have found a cool way for us to avoid putting ourselves in danger of anything but helping you look cool.
Introducing our Media T-Shirt store! We’re gonna start selling these bad boys to you, beleaguered bloggers, and media folk spending too much time at Tom & Jerry’s and Destination to know what the hip kids are wearing today. Bet you didn’t know about this “hip” V-Neck business! All of our shirts come in this shape so you can wear them in the “cool” neighborhoods of New York without looking “ironic” because nobody will know what your shirt is referring to in the first place….but you and your Twitter followers. On with the fashion show!
[For the record, all shirts are in Beta. They’ve also been (categorically) copyrighted. Finally, there is no news peg here, so if you bootleg these shirts, I’m gonna shove the Fair Use doctrine so far up your ass you’ll need to go a size up just so these can fit around your throat. And if you are thinking about giving me press but ask for a free one first, I’m posting about it, you filthy SWAG-whore. I know how this works.
Just gotta cover my bases. You know?]
How could we not first start off with the greatest newspaper war in all the land Mark your participation as a soldier with this commemorative NEWSPAPER WAR T-Shirt. Get yours before it comes to blows and WSJ editor Robert Thompson gets all “ARGY BARGY” up in the face of an unsuspecting Sulzberger.
You know what’s great about The Business Insider? Nobody ever said “I need to read something with some original content, but also, T & A! And other people’s content!” But then Henry Blodget went and did that! And now he has an awesome BusinessWeek profile about him. Celebrate TBI’s “Naughty by Nature” strategy of filling up on “Other People’s Property” with this here shirt!
Startup editorial products are hard! And yet! The Awl has managed to live through its first year with the help of lots of very, very, very, very, very, very, restraining order-ish readers, lots of contributors, and one very savvy businessperson named David Cho! You can “Cho” some respect with this shirt, which is not a sponsored advertisement, but if it were, of course we’d tell you it were, but should we have a problem with sponsored advertising? If it makes us money! I don’t know? Maybe!
It’s been a long few years for Conde Nast. As opposed to an Orangina shirt, what better way to show your regard for the man at the top of New York’s Burning Roman Empire of Magazines than with simple, austere reverence. And resignation.
America’s favorite beleaguered weekly, Newsweek, has fallen upon tough times. But they have (or: had) a Tumblr! And what a better way to show potential investors that you’re a scrappy moneymaking machine (and yet: a robust cultural product) than taking the Casablanca route? Wear it once, Sam, for old time’s sake!
The Media V-Neck is obviously going to be a huge hit with the kids in Williamsburg, just as California surf-fuzz wunderkind rocker Nathan Williams of Wavves is with them! Wavves may not be such a fan of the New York Observer himself, but the massive contingent of L-Train riding Observer readers are sure to find this dual endorsement worth an investment.
Everyone’s favorite pinkly (pink + weekly) and everyone’s favorite half of a fictional construct of a former editor of a pinkly on Twitter finally combine forces. This has been a long, long time coming.
Because if there’s one expense every newly launched editorial startup product with paid contributors shouldn’t spare, it’s a T-Shirt with dirty words on it.
Ah, Gawker. One of the first “big blogs” to ever have T-Shirts, their store has long been closed. Remember that “Beat Me With Ten Lbs. of Vogue” shirt? Those were the days. But like anything Gawker has tried to sell that doesn’t involve the souls of their editorial staff* or advertising space, they couldn’t move shit. But we can! This commemorative Gawker T-Shirt Shop Shirt commemorates the days when Gawker still had a T-Shirt Shop. How “retro,” you guys! For the blue moons on which you check into Gawker to file your yearly “BRING BACK RICHARD MORGAN!” comment, you’ve now got the perfect shirt to do it in.
[*Full Disclosure: As a former employee, at least four out of the ten months worth of equity in mine they own is still for sale, and if you buy it, I’ll receive a kickback. Contact James@Gawker.com for further details.]
And another Gawker shirt! In New York, there’s Brooklyn, there’s Brooklyn’s Finest, and then there’s media morning commissary Balthazar, located directly across the street from Gawker Media owner Nick Denton’s place of residence. Thug out your support for the Dark Lord Balthazar himself with this shirt, or just wear it to media parties to remind everyone that there used to be a time when people weren’t afraid to pie this guy! And that they’ll never experience it.
Another Gawker shirt! Oh, why the hell not? Last one, seriously. Remember that time Ryan Tate got drunk and sent the CEO of Apple, Steve Jobs, emails that got Jobs to admit to his “war on porn,” among other things, thus putting the megalomaniacal dark side of Steve Jobs on full view for the world to see? Celebrate Tate’s legendary blog post with this inspirational quote from Steve Jobs, one that will remind all who see it not to be such a glib dickbag, even if you are the CEO of Apple. Best will be when onlookers ask you either (A) What the answer to the question on the shirt is, or (B) after you explain them the story, ask them what the answer to the question on the shirt is! To which you can reply: This shirt.
And of course, our own. I was going to opt for a picture of Norman Mailer getting hit on the head with a hammer by Rip Torn, but we were worried that might send the wrong message. So we went with the right message. And we’re already having a box of these printed.