Here’s something adults are apparently discovering, co-opting from kids, and using for their own vile purposes: Silly Bandz! You know, those colorful rubber-band-like bracelets that come in all kinds of shapes, like cactuses and palm trees and gorillas, that all the coolest middle-schoolers are wearing? Well, they can, apparently, help you in your male-female mating rituals. Somehow.
In what has to be the silliest “trend piece” of the day (beating out, even, male makeup), the Daily News points out that actual, real live grownups are now giving each other Silly Bandz to flirt! A certain financial planner, for instance, had no idea what they were, until a date gave him one — and then, sooner than you can say “Silly Bandz,” another girl gave him another one! This, it seems, made him feel important, and now he has his own array of Bandz to show off.
“People always notice them,” he said. Well, yeah, sort of like people notice your adult braces and collection of coloring books and love for Pokemon.
Another man was highly disappointed that his gift from “a redhead” of an XOXO Silly Band did not actually mean XOXO — but girls say giving dudes the bracelets is a no-strings-attached way to flirt, cause it’s not like they come with your number or anybody can “track you down” or anything. That would be way too scary.
Adults today! What happened to pulling hair and snapping bra straps?
Are you an adult-person who does this? Please, get in touch. We have something to give you.