We’re sick of Guy Fieri (real name: Guy Ramsay Ferry). The television personality manufactured on the second season of The Next Food Network Star might double as a Barnum & Bailey clown. Yet he is now one of the country’s most recognizable celebrity chefs.
If you want to see how “bad” he really is (a word he uses to mean “good” so often, you could play a drinking game based on it), take a look at the menu of any restaurant he owns.
Located in Santa Rosa, an agricultural hub in Sonoma County, Califtonia, Tex Wasabi’s describes itself as “Rock-N-Roll Sushi-BBQ.” Would you walk into a restaurant with a name like that? I did, figuratively speaking, and here are a few of the scarier items found on the menu:
1. NEW! Screaming Gobbler Roll $7.95*
Roasted turkey, jalapeños, pepper jack, avocados, green onions, mayonnaise, and sriracha mayonnaise wrapped in sushi rice and tapioca paper. First you’ll gobble, then you’ll scream.
*From the “Gringo Sushi” menu: “We developed the ‘Gringo Sushi’ for those that aren’t quite ready or sure about ‘Sushi Maki’, with its ‘raw fish and seaweed,'” says the menu.
2. Waka Waka $6.95
A secret family recipe! Napa, red and green cabbages, red onions, carrots, cilantro, peanuts, and crispy noodles tossed with a red wine-lemon vinaigrette and layered on top of five crispy wonton skins.
3. Tokyo Cobb Salad $13.25
Tempura shrimp, bacon, avocado, egg, tomatoes, and bleu cheese, on top of crisp lettuce, drizzled with bleu-sabi.
4. Tootsie Roll $9.95
A tempura-battered roll with smoked salmon, cream cheese, togarashi (chili powder), green onion, and eel sauce drizzled over the top.
5. Jackass Roll $6.95
Tapioca rice paper roll with sushi rice, avocado, BBQ pork, french fries, and a garlic chili mayo sauce.
6. Jumpin’ Jack Fish Roll $11.95
With cream cheese, pepper jack cheese, jalapeño, togarashi, green onion, hamachi, and eel sauce.
7. Hog Tied King Roll $10.95
With bacon, sake (fresh salmon), cream cheese, sriracha, green onions, crispy onions, and eel sauce, topped with sweet chili sauce.
8. NEW! Flame Broiled Albacore $10.50
Fresh albacore tuna marinated in a spicy miso BBQ sauce, seared and served medium rare à la carte Tappas style. [Misspelling theirs.]
9. NEW! Wonton Wonderland $6.25
Three flash-fried wontons, dredged in cinnamon sugar, with vanilla ice cream between layers. Topped with raspberry, white chocolate, chocolate, and caramel sauces finished with whipped cream and dusted with powdered sugar.
And if you think that’s weird, take a look at the restaurant’s blog [NSFW].