Film

Interactive Mommie Dearest Was A Scream

by

Mommie Dearest is the unwitting 1981 comedy about celebrity child abuse, but it was funnier than ever at last night’s interactive version of the camp classic at the Ziegfeld.

The event ballsily started with go-go boys running down the aisles with empty popcorn buckets that the audience was asked to fill with tips for drag host Hedda Lettuce — something even Faye Dunaway would never have the cojones to do!

But then Hedda came out and was funny enough to earn the bucks.

She humorously told us, “Faye was on a soupçon of crystal meth when she made this film.

“She was the last one to be in on the joke!

“The director hated her and didn’t tell her a thing, and the editor hated her, too — some of the shots he lingered on, her eyes are crossing.”

She advised us to notice Faye’s “Kabuki drag” and to notice how her eyes get more Asian as the film progresses.

Hedda then had the audience chant “Don’t fuck with me, fellas!” instructing us that when Joan shrieked that to the Pepsi board, “she had not a drop left of estrogen in her body and her bones creaked when she chewed, but she was not gonna put up with it!”

She also instructed us to hiss whenever Tina appeared and to “shoot heroin in the last half-hour. It gets so fuckin’ dull!”

But the night’s only sad moment came when I heard a gay in front of me tell his friend, “This movie is basically my childhood!”

Holy s–t.

Most Popular