What’s So Special About Apple’s Siri?


Anticipation and hoopla surrounded the release of the iPhone 4S, but when people discovered Apple wasn’t debuting the iPhone 5, the launch was dubbed a dud. 5 is one better than 4! Why are you robbing us of 5? On the evening Steve Jobs died,’s main headline was about how the iPhone 4S was a disappointment before they quickly replaced it with the news of his passing. Contrary to early predictions, the iPhone 4S is now breaking sales records. Additionally, people are raving about Siri, the phone’s voice recognition application.

Siri is a program that lets iPhone users control their device just by talking to it. Android-powered phones have offered a similar feature for a while, but everyone is flipping their iShit over Siri because A) it’s made by Apple and B) apparently it’s very good.

What sets Siri apart is its intuitiveness. Siri picks up on key phrases and uses them to construct a logical response. If you ask it, “What are some good sushi joints up in here?” it will respond with a list of sushi restaurants in the area. However, if anyone overhears you asking your iPhone, “What are some good sushi joints up in here?” they are legally allowed to kick you in the crotch.

Reviewers also gush over Siri’s supposed sense of humor. For example, it’s programmed to answer offbeat questions and users have found that it responds to the inquiry, “Where can I dump a dead body?” with a list of reservoirs, swamps, and mines. Oh Siri, you are so dark!

Check out this Apple-produced video demonstrating Siri’s ability to make the lives of San Francisco residents so much better:

If you are like the lazy Dockers models in that video, Siri is a godsend. If you are a normal person, Siri will wont change your life, but it certainly will revolutionize the way you talk to a $400 piece of plastic and glass.

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