The Billy Gibbons conundrum: Shoot my face off—or cover ZZ Top with Kid Rock and Nickelback?
Chris Kattan replaced Paris Hilton, who is too nice a girl to slam others.
Rihanna thanked “her number one fan, Jesus.” Okay.
Shoot-My-Stylist Award goes to Denise Richards. Nice nest, dude.
Janet Jackson performed for the opening and appears to have worked a nipple tweak into the choreography. Reference to the Superbowl fiasco?
Woman undone: Courtney Love. She announced the artist of the year with the Killers, who were slated to perform but Brandon Flowers lost his voice. Alas.
Gwen Stefani yodeled in the world’s shortest jumper. Still needs to lose the moronic-Harajuku-dancers schtick.
The most touching moment of the night: Stevie Wonder presented the Century Award to Tony Bennett, and discussed Bennett’s contribution to the civil-rights movement. Bennett remarked graciously, “I’ve been singing for sixty years. The way you’re treating me tonight, I want to sing for another sixty years.”
Cynical a witch as Eye is, she teared up like a babe.