Former State Senator Hiram “Faceslasher” Monserrate’s Ex-Chief of Staff Arrested for ‘You Don’t Know Who I Am’-ing a Cop, Trying to Punk Police

Remember Hiram Monserrate? He’s the state senator who got expelled from the State Senate after being convicted of getting faceslashy with girlfriend Karla Giraldo, or as the law deemed it: “misdemeanor domestic assault.” Looks like his entire political operation possesses (or possessed) the same cool demeanor Monserrate once demonstrated.

Via the New York Times‘ City Room, Monserrate’s 48-year-old former chief of staff, Wayne Mahlke, was arrested and arraigned today in Queens for hysterically having a “fake parking placard” on him, and for “failing to obey a police officer.” Who was a woman. Which doesn’t at all factor into this, of course. Apparently, it went like this:

– Mahlke was driving around in Elmhurst, where he lives. While at a red light, something a cop did (we don’t know what) prompted Mahlke to scream at her: ” ‘Why don’t you do your job?’ followed by an epithet.” It was likely not “LADY!”

• The cop, Officer Denise McDonald, asked Mahlke for his license and registration.
• Mahlke tried to drive around her.
• He didn’t succeed.
• She pulled him over, and he busts out his official State Senate Business Plaque and a laminated police placard.
• And then told her: “You don’t know who I am. I’m higher ranking than you. I work for Mayor Bloomberg.” Which, of course, he doesn’t. Because he doesn’t have a job.
• Or, as it turns out, a driver’s license. He was driving with a learner’s permit.

And thus, Mahlke was arrested. Gotta wonder what she did to him to provoke such rage, but given Mahlke’s former employer’s temper, it’s likely at best marginal, and at the worst, borderline immaterial. That said, Mahlke caused a rift in the Monserrate camp when his boss voted against gay marriage, so while the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, it’s definitely not still on it (as evidenced: the lack of a faceslashing, here).

Meanwhile, as the Times also points out, Monserrate’s getting ready to try to assault someone else, though this time within the parameters of the law in a charity boxing match. He did, however, tell the Daily News today that he would like to fight — wait for it — Eric T. Schneiderman, the state senator who called for Monserrate’s expulsion after he faceslashed his girlfriend.

“I am not looking to be knocked down again. It would be an honor for me if Eric would join me in the ring,” Monserrate said in between rounds of sparring at a Long Island gym.

Schneiderman likely won’t be taking the bait, given his pitch-perfect follow-up:

“I’ve watched the video of him assaulting Karla Giraldo enough times. I don’t have any interest in watching him hit anyone else — including me.

In the end, a timeless lesson learned: Anybody who pulls the “You don’t know who I am” line is, as always, not worth knowing. Furthermore, knowing them likely won’t lead to anything too great, anyway.