Revealed: Who Lindsay Lohan Is


Thursday’s Daily News headlines the latest development in the gripping saga of movie star Lindsay Lohan’s troubled father, Michael.

“LINDSAY DAD’S DEATH RANT,” page 1 yells. “Divorce papers allege Lohan threatened to kill whole family. SEE FULL EXPLOSIVE DETAILS INSIDE.” A red box directs us to a “News Special Report” on p. 3, where we learn that divorce papers claim that Michael “invoked the name of O.J. Simpson” in threatening wife Dina.

In the News cover shot, Michael Lohan is hugging his illustrious daughter and wearing a cap that says “The Rookie.” But he’s no newcomer to the pages of New York newspapers. Since last May, he’s been mentioned 30 times in the News, 26 times in the Post, and 17 times in Newsday. Glaringly, the Times has never reported the story.

This raises obvious questions, like why the Times is trying to suppress this important story, or where the Daily News got off putting Lohan on its front cover today rather than the Post‘s pick, Michael Jackson. Where have our celebrity court case priorities gone?

Perhaps the biggest question, though, for many readers is: Who exactly is Lindsay Lohan?

Her personal website, where you can listen to her new single “Over” from her debut album “Speak,” has much of the knowledge we seek. The bio there shows her to be a woman of eclectic tastes, whose favorite music acts range from Faith Hill to Lil’ Bow-wow, favorite actors include both Jack Nicholson and Freddie Prinze, Jr., and most cherished films encompass “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” and “The Little Mermaid.” Her own body of work has seen her in “Mean Girls,” “Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen,” “Freaky Friday,” and several other flicks. The journal on her site, however, is a tease: The final entry is dated October 15, 2003. “Hey guys, i’m soooo sooo sorry i haven’t written in a while!!” she writes. We’re sorry too, Lindsay.

Fan sites offer a few other clues to the essence of Ms. Lohan. Among them are LindsayFans (which reports that it in April merged with LocationLohan) and For readers with deep curiosity or a lot of time, there’s even a site featuring the “100 sexiest pictures” of Lindsay, but that seems a little creepy, so I won’t link to it.

Perhaps the most revealing picture of this tabloid sensation emerges from her own words — the lyrics to Lohan’s songs. In them there is a longing for love, but also a desperate cry for privacy. The song “Rumors” might sum it up best:

I’m tired of rumors starting
I’m sick of being followed
I’m tired of people lying
Saying what they want about me
Why can’t they back up off me
Why can’t they let me live
I’m gonna do it my way
Take this for just what it is

Amen, sister.