Sarah Palin Screwed Basketball Star, Did Coke and Pot, And Cheated On Todd

It seems the idiocy-spewing family-values robot is human after all.

According to The Enquirer, a tell-all book about Palin that will come out next week says she once scored with future hoops star Glen Rice (less than a year later, she was pregnant and eloped with Todd).

She did coke off a 55-gallon drum while snowmobiling. (That really redefines snowmobiling, no?)

And there was the Palin-denied six-month affair with Todd’s business partner, which Alaskans could probably see out of their igloos.

The Republican presidential wannabe is still standing plain and tall (well, plain, anyway), not responding as of yet to these claims from the same weekly that outed John Edwards as a sleazoid.

But expect her to put down the crack pipe and the black schlong at any moment and answer back really angrily, lol.